night falls

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by annie-crafts, Jan 18, 2009.

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  1. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    It's getting dark out, night is falling. I had a semi-good day. But now, the depression, the tears, the suicidal thoughts come back to me. It's a pattern I've noticed.

    Anyone else have this experience - any suggestions?

    All I can think about is self-harm. I'm not going to, but my head is flooded with thoughts.

    I don't know, it's like - ok, I've made it thru this day, but how will I make it thru tomorrow. I wish I could just die in my sleep. :sad::sad::sad::sad::sad:
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sorry you are having these troubling thoughts annie. :hug: Try blocking those thoughts of harming yourself out of your mind and see if that helps. :hug:
  3. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Hi Annie,
    I'm pretty much in the same boat unfortunately, so can't offer you a hopeful speech but just so you know that you are not alone if that helps at all. :hug: Have you anything to distract yourself with? A good book or film? Some upbeat music?
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Nights are always the toughest for me. It is like when the sun goes down so do I. Ignored has the right idea. You need to do anything you can to provide distractions. Morning always come and the day starts again. I am glad you are determined not to SI. You will make it through this night and the days and nights following. Have faith in yourself. :hug:
  5. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much for the support, it really means alot. I'm crying right now because I know that I'm not alone with these feelings and you guys responded.

    Distraction is a good idea, instead I sit here, shaking, anxiety rising, thinking of all my failures.

    It's good to get all this out, but sometimes I wonder if being on SF too much adds to my depression. I don't know. I'm confused about how to take care of myself. I just want to go to bed and sleep forever. I don't know.

    If I try to go to bed now, I know I won't sleep and my mind will just race. But sleep is what I want. I'm so tired. so exhausted.

  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: Annie,

    welcome to SF, although I believe we have already met :shake:

    Nightime is always worse for me too.

    Perhaps you should try doing breathing exercises,meditation or reading before sleep to distract you? Every night before I sleep I listen to a breathing exercise cd, it puts me to sleep very quickly. You should give it a try :hug:

    Are you on any medication for your depression and anxiety? If you haven't, please see your doctor. Having these thoughts daily will put enormous pressure on you and make you feel like giving up. You deserve help hun. Don't be scared about talking to your doctor about this, They hear it everyday.

    I'm always here if you need to talk. I hope you feel better soon x

    Lynn :hug:
  7. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    thanks sweetheart :thanks:

    Yes, we have "met" :shake: I was just in the chatroom talking about how I'm not very good at the chat thing.

    Yes, I'm on meds, in therapy, the whole deal. Been dealing with it my whole life. I'm in my 30's and can't work. So, I"m doing the best I can with what I have. I do have alot to be grateful for, so i think about that everyday.

    I do try to remember to do some breathing when i'm going to bed. Just got out of the bath too. Gonna try to sleep now that i'm semi-relaxed.

    thanks - you take care of u self too!!! :girlpower

    thanks for the chat!:whoosh:

    -annie :massbounce:
  8. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    So-AZ is always warm no? here in OH it is snowing. let the little snowflakes rock u to sleep. OR-try poppies, poppies will make you sleep. Welcome!:wink:
    night is strange and so are we!
  9. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    funny thing, I'm originally from OH! moved out to the sunshine :tumbleweed: in hopes it would help my depression....

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