No one will feel anything when I sleep. Yet, its 630 and I haven't slept yet. I don't think I will today. It makes me feel . . . Powerful to go and avoid what others have to do. I don't like to say I didn't sleep, I don't say anything if no one asks. I just feel so much superior. Also, I feel the weight of my failures. How stupid and weak I am, how much of a failure I am. It's such validation of myself. I can't take this life anylonger and I don't want to. Couldn't I just take rat poison? Burn on the way in, burn me up to my death. Fuck it. Let's get some breakfast and read more Zizek.