Nightmare in daylight

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by hammockmonkey, Apr 26, 2009.

  1. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    No one will feel anything when I sleep. Yet, its 630 and I haven't slept yet. I don't think I will today. It makes me feel . . . Powerful to go and avoid what others have to do. I don't like to say I didn't sleep, I don't say anything if no one asks. I just feel so much superior. Also, I feel the weight of my failures. How stupid and weak I am, how much of a failure I am. It's such validation of myself. I can't take this life anylonger and I don't want to.

    Couldn't I just take rat poison? Burn on the way in, burn me up to my death.

    Fuck it. Let's get some breakfast and read more Zizek.
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i felt like that with my eating disorder.

    nightmare in daylight is exactly what i'm experiencing now and i'm feeling very much like you but i am sleeping- although i felt crushing pain and slow death in the sleep i got last night. i don't know how that is possible as sleep used to be some kind of escape/relief for me. but i did.