Nightmares and more

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by stuckinchicago6, Feb 21, 2011.

  1. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Well, my mom has been getting better...dare I say it, friendly! I know she can not emotionally be the person I need her to be, but I also know that deep down inside, she wishes she could and she really does care. She just doesn't know how.Either way, I woke up this morning with a terrible nightmare. I went back to sleep and had another scary dream. I am really affected by it because of course one of the nightmares has to do with my relationship. I am really worried about him this morning. The last time he messaged me was at 1 a.m. He is some time ahead and he was going to run some errands. After he accomplished the first thing he set out to do, he messaged me. Then, I didn't get no more. Maybe he knew I was sleeping and he went home to sleep himself. His sleep pattern is a little wacky from staying in sync with me and I am here in the States soooo many hours behind. Still, I worry because when I visited his country, I seen how things were. Among other things, the driving was crazy. I think he is ok though because his family has been posting stuff on FB and I think if there was something bad, they would tell me. At the same time, I worry that he gets sick of me. Many times I need reassurance and he made it clear to me yesterday that he is getting sick of my lack of self-esteem. I can imagine how I must seem to him, so then my other worry is that he is growing tired with me. I know I need to make some changes, but it is not easy to become confident and not question or second guess. I know dreams are only dreams, but the two I had this morning were really bad. I just hope they don't relate anyway to reality. I have decided to stay home today because it is freezing cold, so maybe I will feel better if I just eat something and watch some tv. A part of me really wants to call him, but I know I shouldn't bother him if he is sleeping but at the same time, I want to know if everything is cool or not. Still, I have done this many times to him and I don't want him to think bad about me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2011
  2. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    To top it off, I have paranoia lately. I have gotten into a strange pattern of thinking that everything leads to something and everything is a sign for something and I am especially worried this morning because yesterday for the first time ever after I took a bath, I put my ring on my right finger by accident. I have never done this. To top it off, when I was at the health club, all these perverted married men who have been trying to talk to me for years were there. One of them, I do not mind because he has children and I know he does not have bad intentions. The other one is completely disgusting. The minute he seen my ring, he had to touch my hand and say, "What are you engaged or married now? No problem. I am too." This guy rudely interrupted my work out and my conversation with the other guy. I suppose he was jealous that I have made friends. This old guy is sick. I try to be rude and stern with him, but he does not get the hint! He even hangs out at university libraries sometimes and I was writing a paper and he wouldn't leave me alone one time! The funny thing is that this incident happened the first day I met my husband. Naturally, now, I want to know if these chain of events mean anything. Are they bad luck? Why do I have this thinking now. I was never superstitious and now, I am obsessive.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2011