Nightmares are just a means of allowing hidden fears and feelings to emerge, but because they emerge in the way they do, they can be extremely difficult to control or mask them.
Note the word can be, it does not say they cannot.
Survivors often relive the abuse they suffered in the form of nightmares, and often it can manifest into what seems almost real, in that they "dream" what might have happened, or could have happened, which is often even scarier.
Here are some of the factors that permit nightmares to occur
1. Meeting/seeing someone who resembles your abuser, allowing the memories to creep back, scaring you and putting you back a step or two
2. Hearing/reading another persons story of abuse, which mirrors your abuse, awakening hidden thoughts, fears and feelings.
3. Feeling ill, depressed, lonely, sad and afraid.
4. Being stressed, including holidays, visits to people's houses, etc.
Bypass the nightmares, simply by facing the problem, putting the 'ghosts to be put to rest' avoiding stalling tactics like alcohol, drugs, work, or whatever you've used in the past.
Many things daily can remind you, so you need to talk those fears through, and gradually see that whatever did happen to you, you were in no way to blame.
In order to release that feelings you need to let those feelings of blame move back to their rightful owners, which is the people or person who created them for you, namely your abuser(s)
Although the following sounds easy, it will take time, its not easy, but is possible and in doing so, you will get restful, undisturbed sleep.
To begin with, you should take a look at changing your bedtime routine; this can take many forms, so here are just a few that could work:
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1. Changing the physical layout of your room, perhaps moving the bed to somewhere that feels safer, maybe facing the door.
2. If you leave a light on, turn it off, don't read before you sleep, or do if you don't.
3. Turn off the radio if you listen to one, or perhaps leave a radio on to help you rest, and feel safe
4. Instead of surfing the Net, watching TV etc, change the routine, read a book, listen to music, arrange things for tomorrow.
5. Reflect back aloud on the day you had, what went wrong, what could have been done better, and finish off with what you achieved, all this will work to put you in a calmer frame of mind.
6. Take a bath, with music, candles, incense sticks, whatever works for you.
7. Join a session of relaxation classes, and learn how to relax
8. Avoid sleeping in the daytime, sleeping at the wrong time upsets your internal body clock, so get into a routine, and sleep will come to you.
Above all else, make sure that you have enough sleep every night, otherwise you will feel too tired, physically and emotionally to be of any good to yourself, never mind others.
Learn to trust someone again, allowing them to help you go leave the past behind, and go beyond the destructive feelings that you have
You can kick the past back where it belongs, rest assured this method works, continues to work for survivors, and it can work for you, so re-read it again, making sure you don't skip any of the advice offered, unless you want to that is
Still stuck, try this then ~ Some tips to help you control the dreams that may haunt you
It can help to write down what you've dreamed, (have pen and paper to hand, so you can write it down and get back to sleep again.)
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1. Free Writing
Start anywhere and just keep writing whatever comes to mind. Don't censor or edit anything out. It's like free associating onto a piece of paper. Record everything you are thinking and feeling. If you get stuck, simply write "I'm stuck, I'm stuck..." over and over again until a new association comes up. Then keep writing.
Or write down each element of the dream, then write a stream of consciousness for each one. Compare what your wrote for each element of the dream. Look for similarities and patterns. Hold onto these writings - and go back to them later on. Days or weeks later you may see something that you missed the first time around.
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2. Free Association
To unpack the various meanings of a dream, take each object, person, situation, etc. and free associate to them, one at a time. What does it remind you of? What comes to mind when you think of that element of the dream? Let your imagination go. Let your attention wander. Come up with as many associations as possible. Do this in your head, or talk out loud. If you let yourself go with this, something will come up - a memory, an idea, a feeling. It may not tell you "The Meaning" to the dream, but it will give you pieces to the puzzle.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note the word can be, it does not say they cannot.
Survivors often relive the abuse they suffered in the form of nightmares, and often it can manifest into what seems almost real, in that they "dream" what might have happened, or could have happened, which is often even scarier.
Here are some of the factors that permit nightmares to occur
1. Meeting/seeing someone who resembles your abuser, allowing the memories to creep back, scaring you and putting you back a step or two
2. Hearing/reading another persons story of abuse, which mirrors your abuse, awakening hidden thoughts, fears and feelings.
3. Feeling ill, depressed, lonely, sad and afraid.
4. Being stressed, including holidays, visits to people's houses, etc.
Bypass the nightmares, simply by facing the problem, putting the 'ghosts to be put to rest' avoiding stalling tactics like alcohol, drugs, work, or whatever you've used in the past.
Many things daily can remind you, so you need to talk those fears through, and gradually see that whatever did happen to you, you were in no way to blame.
In order to release that feelings you need to let those feelings of blame move back to their rightful owners, which is the people or person who created them for you, namely your abuser(s)
Although the following sounds easy, it will take time, its not easy, but is possible and in doing so, you will get restful, undisturbed sleep.
To begin with, you should take a look at changing your bedtime routine; this can take many forms, so here are just a few that could work:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Changing the physical layout of your room, perhaps moving the bed to somewhere that feels safer, maybe facing the door.
2. If you leave a light on, turn it off, don't read before you sleep, or do if you don't.
3. Turn off the radio if you listen to one, or perhaps leave a radio on to help you rest, and feel safe
4. Instead of surfing the Net, watching TV etc, change the routine, read a book, listen to music, arrange things for tomorrow.
5. Reflect back aloud on the day you had, what went wrong, what could have been done better, and finish off with what you achieved, all this will work to put you in a calmer frame of mind.
6. Take a bath, with music, candles, incense sticks, whatever works for you.
7. Join a session of relaxation classes, and learn how to relax
8. Avoid sleeping in the daytime, sleeping at the wrong time upsets your internal body clock, so get into a routine, and sleep will come to you.
Above all else, make sure that you have enough sleep every night, otherwise you will feel too tired, physically and emotionally to be of any good to yourself, never mind others.
Learn to trust someone again, allowing them to help you go leave the past behind, and go beyond the destructive feelings that you have
You can kick the past back where it belongs, rest assured this method works, continues to work for survivors, and it can work for you, so re-read it again, making sure you don't skip any of the advice offered, unless you want to that is
Still stuck, try this then ~ Some tips to help you control the dreams that may haunt you
It can help to write down what you've dreamed, (have pen and paper to hand, so you can write it down and get back to sleep again.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Free Writing
Start anywhere and just keep writing whatever comes to mind. Don't censor or edit anything out. It's like free associating onto a piece of paper. Record everything you are thinking and feeling. If you get stuck, simply write "I'm stuck, I'm stuck..." over and over again until a new association comes up. Then keep writing.
Or write down each element of the dream, then write a stream of consciousness for each one. Compare what your wrote for each element of the dream. Look for similarities and patterns. Hold onto these writings - and go back to them later on. Days or weeks later you may see something that you missed the first time around.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. Free Association
To unpack the various meanings of a dream, take each object, person, situation, etc. and free associate to them, one at a time. What does it remind you of? What comes to mind when you think of that element of the dream? Let your imagination go. Let your attention wander. Come up with as many associations as possible. Do this in your head, or talk out loud. If you let yourself go with this, something will come up - a memory, an idea, a feeling. It may not tell you "The Meaning" to the dream, but it will give you pieces to the puzzle.
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