Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by bella muerte, May 21, 2007.

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  1. bella muerte

    bella muerte Well-Known Member

    i was abused by my brother :huh:
    it took my mind 5 years to remember what happened.
    and i wish i never remembered ... every night i go to sleep and have a nightmare .. combining all the sensitive subjects.

    first its me being hurt and raped by him .. then its me si'ing and then i die... thats the part were i wake up.
    its been like this for 5 months ... and it won't stop.
    my therapist said it might be ptsd .. but i dunno.
    i just feel so emotionally numb ... and the people like my best friend and family .. i just seem so uninvolved. i dont want people to touch me or be right next to me.
    i'm alright when its a very close friend but otherwise i'll freak.
    i havent yet told anyone exactly what goes on in the nightmares ... scared to .

    the nightmares have put strain on my health to... i'm suffereing with severe insomnia,i've got mild depression and worst of all .. i've developed a anxiety disorder .. - GAD ... and it realy realy s*cks.

    i wish i was dead .. so i didnt have to put up with it.

  2. Tara

    Tara Guest

    :arms: im sorry to hear what uve been put through,

    and to make matters worse you dream about it everynight. no wonder you have insomnia :hug:

    im sorry im not much help. i cant think of a way that'll enable you to get to sleep. i wonder if theres a way to control dreams? someone once told me that you usually dream about what you think about before you go to sleep. dont ask me if this is true cause i have no clue.
    but if it is, you prob are thinking bout what happened before you go to sleep (because you know that ur prob gonna dream about it) you could try thinking about good things before you go to sleep and see if that happens? or put on a happy film, disney or something, that'll take your mind off thinking before you sleep.

    im sorry :( i just dont know what to say, but i really want to help. :hug:
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that you went through that :sad: and that you are living through it in your dreams now. :hug:

    It sounds very much like you are suffering from PTSD to me. Of course I am not a doctor but I am a PTSD sufferer as a result of sexual abuse.

    I know how hard it is to cope with and I want you to know that I am here for you if you want to talk more about this :hug:.

    Please take care :arms: x
  4. bella muerte

    bella muerte Well-Known Member

    yes , i was abused sexual ...:(((
    :sad: :unsure:

    i'm hoping i tell someone about what happened again.
    i didnt get the help i needed when i was still open about it.
    now i'm back to stubborn me , not talking about it at all.
  5. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I understand. It's very hard to open up, for fear of it all engulfing you. I've never told anyone the full story of what happened to me. But I hope that I can one day. Apparently it can be very helpful.

    If you want to talk to someone then I'm here. :hug: I really do have an understanding of what you're going through :hug:. I wish there was something more I could do to help... x
  6. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    You know how to get in touch with me if you need me hunny, even if it is in the middle of the night after a nightmare - my phone's on 24/7 for a reason :hug:
  7. Tara

    Tara Guest

    you are a wonderful person:arms:
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