72 days ago today on December 7th, I tried to kill myself. I haven't told a soul til now and managed to hide the bruise around my neck well but for 3 weeks couldn't move it without a lot of pain. It was semi-planned as I'd thought how to do it but never ever thought I'd have the guts to try it. The thoughts won't go away from it. At some point during I was semi-conscious. I felt what was going on and I felt me struggling. It was terrifying. I could feel the pain in my head until I felt it was going to explode over and over. In the dark. Not knowing what was going on, what was happening, or where I was. Now in the night, I dream. I dream of nothing and get so scared inside. I think about it over and over and wish I'd used something stronger as I abandoned everything to do it and now am left with nothing and too scared to try again anything non-instant like that. I just felt I needed to say that I tried and maybe, just maybe hope there was someone out there that could at least pretend to care or understand this. Because now I have no one. I have nothing left.