Nightmares

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freedom

Well-Known Member
#1
Never been 'great' at sleeping. Been worse the past year or two from bad dreams and nightmares. They turn me into a zombie the day after the night they arrive, I can't shed the images and feelings at all until I sleep again. Doctor, counselors, friends (even drugs nowadays) don't seem able to help. There aren't any solid recurring details I can put my finger on, but there are some themes. Often sexual and physical abuse, by myself and others, sometimes to myself. Always disgust and fear, normally pain and suffering by myself and others. More often than not it's me causing the worst, horrific trauma, often willingly in the 'dream'. Upon waking I am distraught and often cry and/or self harm (which rarely helps much, of course), then throughout the day am unable to rid myself of the 'afterglow'. The only experience I can compare it to is the intensity of hallucinogenic drugs with the deep inmpact they have upon the perception of reality. The 'dreams' are becoming ever more real than reality with my feeling increasingly distant from the waking world. It's hard to convince myself that they are 'dreams', for now I'm not losing, I fear for the future. |- freedom
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
often inner turmoil thoughts come throught in dreams nightmares when they are surfacing. I don't think there is anything one can do but get therapy for the past trauma and work your way through it. As you do the nightmares should lessen i would thing hugs
 

freedom

Well-Known Member
#3
Normally cannabis aids my sleep. The last two days I haven't smoked any. Last night and the night previous are two of the most terrifying nights I have lived. Within moments of drifting off both nights constant nightmares of suffocation filled what little 'sleep' I had. I've had similar nightmares before, just not quite as severe or prolonged. They normally consist of dreaming I am semi awake in my bed semi aware of my surroundings. There is a constant feeling of dread and fear in that it feels impossible to draw breath. The struggle only gives way when I drift into darkness only to emerge swiftly into the same terror that I am dying, slowly and painfully. I've yet to talk to a health professional about these nightmares, but will in the next appoinments I have with them. In the past such nightmares only seem to last an hour at most and cycle a few times before I am able to wake myself. I fear sleep now and don't know what to do next for the future. |- freedom
 
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