Nights are the worst

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Breathe, Apr 14, 2009.

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  1. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    i find night times the hardest, my insomnia kicks in and my mind just whirls with my life. tonight i am home alone i am till Saturday, my parents away on holiday. its 1.30 and i turned the tv over to self harming program. i don't know what happened but 3 minutes into it my body just over whelmed with a wash of a unknown feeling and tears filled my eyes. i found my self wandering into the kitchen, my mind blank and next thing i know i sub consciously had reached for the pills, home alone with pills and alcohol. i stopped myself, slamming my head against the cabinet door as i shut it asking myself what the fuck i was doing.

    then i did something i wish i hadn't i found a razor, small cuts and i knew what i was doing unlike the pills, it did take me time to find one after all. i feel better but the tv program is still playing. the cuts don't hurt but i can taste the blood still where i had to get it off my skin as it dripped, and the nasty red lines are there.

    i want to go doctors, i want to get help, i don't want scars but i don't know what the problem is, i have good parents, good friends, good life, some parts of my past are bumpy but i think i have overcome them. My life is a hazy blur. how can i get help when i dont know what the problems are??
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    You don't have to know what the problems are to get help. The important thing is that you DO get that help. Sometimes the cause is hard to find; or it can be depression itself, with no visible cause. But you still deserve the help.
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