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No Advice Needed, I Can't be Helped

#1
Maybe I'm just letting it out because I keep it in. I'm hopeless and don't expect my life to ever change. No matter what I do nothing every changes and nobody can help me. Not that many people even care to help me. Everyone I've ever met, except my boyfriend and my best friend (that's only 2 people my entire life), have only cared about preserving themselves.

Everybody has always overlooked, kept their heads in the sand and brushed under the rug all the bad things that happen to me. Even my family, but I'm not surprised because they are part of the problem too. My parents ruined my life by moving me to this nightmare hellhole of a county, taking my opportunities away and leaving me to rot surrounded by hate and misery all for their own selfish needs.

Everything I've worked for has be taken away and stolen from me. It doesn't matter how hard I work, how smart I am, how kind, nice or what I achieve. Any potential I have is wasted because it is nasty, hateful, spiteful, vicious creatures disguised as people who stop me from getting what I have earned.

Everyday I'm surrounded by people who have what I've worked for. It's rubbed in my face and never leaves my mind the fact that these lazy bitches used me to get to where they are and left me behind as a failure in the dirt. Struggling everyday in nothing but misery. That's all my life is now. I don't feel anything. I can't eat or cry. I don't have anything left in me. The only thing stopping me from getting peace is the worry of the pain and disability I will be in after a failed attempt. I was never meant to be happy. It's all a lie. I exist to only be miserable and tortured by the fact that I could end it but I'm too scared of the pain and what I have to live with when it fails. Because that's all I am. A worthless failure who only exists to be used to make others happy. My misery is what makes these people happy.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#2
Hello,
I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Sure sounds terrible. And although you’ve only got two people in total who you can count on unconditionally, it is my belief that you deserve to have more. If you can’t find them now in your daily life, that isn’t because they don’t exist. Maybe you’ll just have to wait until one day, when the time is right, you’re able to relocate and get a new position with some better coworkers. And folks in the surrounding community who will show you the love you so rightly deserve and ought to be cared for for. I’m sorry... I know you didn’t want any advice. And I hope I wasn’t too forward or imposing. Because that was not my intention, at all— just wanted to wish you the best and let you know that you are always welcome to hang around here & keep us company. (We’re sometimes cool 😎!) ;)
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#3
Hello and good to see you here. I hope that it is not entirely hopeless since you are here and with luck perhaps with connect with others and find comfort.
 
#4
I've been wishing to talk with someone who has had the same thing happen to them. Being bullied and betrayed by their school and unable to get the degree and dream they worked for. I found posts on another forum where this person was kicked out for being transgender. I tried to send them a message but the profile is private. I'm not surprised by it. I know the last thing people want is for others to know their failures. People only brag about success. But I wish I could talk to people who's life was destroyed by this school. I want to know what they did. How they made a life worth living. Because the way I feel I don't have a life worth living. Not with this pain.
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#7
I often wish I could go back a bit knowing how things happened and turned out and make changes, at some times bitter, now at my age mostly just disappointed...
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#8
If you’re unhappy now. Maybe you can look to make some changes that would allow for a better chance to set yourself up to find this life that would ultimately bring you some sustained happiness. It sounds like you’ve had a pretty brutal go of it growing up. With terrible things done to you, over that which you have little, to no control.
You say you were forced to move to a country not of your choosing. This is what I mean by saying that changing your environment—that is, your scenery—may in fact be one practical and tangible thing that you could do in order to help facilitate this newfound perspective, and therefore - lease on life. Is it easy? No, but very few things worthwhile in life are. Especially when trying to change the tide - or transform completely the way things are going & seemingly set in stone now.
Perhaps you could select a place that is more accepting of your issues with which you have received such resistance? I know it is not a perfect world we are living in, but in countries like my own, little by little, things are getting better & slowing but surely, progressing in the right direction!
have you gotten any help for your mental health on a professional level? Right now that is what I would recommend above all else, if you have not. . . Yes, your best friend and boyfriend are great allies. But they are not going to provide the same that that a psychiatrist or psychologist will. I know that your options may be limited depending on where you live. As well as what is culturally acceptable/approved in current /modern times.
I do know that we have had people in your boat here on the forum before. Whether or not there are any around right now, I couldn’t say... but you could post a thread asking if anyone can relate to your specific struggles surrounding this area, if you so felt compelled and comfortable in doing so.
Glad to hear from you again! : )
 

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