no ambition to get school work done

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Mordeci, Oct 31, 2010.

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  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    So basically I had a rough draft of a paper due on Monday night and I had all of friday saturday and sunday to do it, unforently it didn't work out like that and now I am suck working pretty much no stop monday to get it done. If I paced myself I would have got the paper done and still have plenty of free time over the weekend, but I just lacked the motivation to get the work done, I still do. Truth is I hate what I am studying, I am in Law school but at the moment I have no intentions of becoming a lawyer or attorney or doing anything in the legal field, but I am stuck, I can't move back home because my parents are a bad influence and I loose the finicial aid check, I don't know what else I want to do and the work load is so stressful it dosen't give me time to think, I feel I am in way over my head, and I am not to optimistic about my grades either so I have to worry about failing as well, its all just a mess.
  2. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    Are you taking antidepressants? They can help immensely for providing energy and motivation.
  3. helium

    helium Member

    i just joined this site and one of the first posts i saw was this one and i'm having really similar issues. i'm a college student and i'm stuck in the only field i happen to like which is art related. i can't find a way out because every alternative awful. i love art and i'm good at art but the downside to making it is that every corner you turn people tell you how worthless your work is, that you'll never get a job and so on. the professors control your life with recommendations and providing interviews so they treat us like shit and make awful comments about peoples appearance, personal life choices and so on. its like being stuck in an abusive relationship. if i want to move forward in this field i have to put up with daily abuse. i go into the studio expecting to be made to feel like shit every single day. its gotten to the point where i can't design anymore which makes me feel horrible about myself and brings on even more abuse from professors and peers. at this point i don't see a reason to continue doing anything. living, breathing.. anything. my life is a constant shit storm of stress, i can't let people down i have to live up to expectations i have to prove that i chose the right path for myself. none of it seems worth it anymore but just walking away isn't an option. i know it doesn't seem like it would be worth ending everything but i just want the constant stress and feelings of worthlessness to end. i just need a minute to breathe and i almost feel like i need to be set free. i'm obviously here because i know thats the wrong choice but maybe since we're the same age going through the same school stress we can help eachother out.
  4. chipped_d

    chipped_d Member

    I feel similar. I just started college in a school with a very high tuition. No grants or scholarships, but I didn't think much of it. I had a major, a goal - Architecture. Three weeks in a dropped to undecided. I feel trapped, without passion for anything, worthless. I don't know how to get out of this rut. I'm trying, I got help, I'm looking around... but I feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable.
  5. helium

    helium Member

    hey chipped

    can i ask why you decided to become undeclared? and for whatever reason you chose just be glad you chose early, you still have so many options. i'm in my senior year so theres really no going back, besides the part where i love what i do when i'm not being beaten down. i'm glad you're getting help but it does suck to feel like there are no options. at least we know we're not alone. i think everyone probably feels like this at some point in their college career, i'm just glad i'm talking to likeminded people about it instead of letting it take over.
  6. chipped_d

    chipped_d Member

    Hmm... well, first, I suppose I folded under the pressure. It seemed like everyone else knew what they were doing, and the projects intimidated me like hell. During every class and studio my mind would be so overcome by panic that I'd pound my chest and scratch my arms and write farewell letters to my parents just to keep calm. Also, I began seriously doubting my resolve to be an architecture. It's a five year course, and after people usually only do architecture or something in design, and thinking about making drafts and models in a tiny cubicle and having my creativity judged my whole life wasn't something that appealed to me, and arch people usually don't get paid much. I didn't want to pay 50k for something I felt like I'd be miserable in.

    But I felt trapped. The five year pit of spikes was before me, and behind me, I thought, a brick wall - the tuition, other colleges no longer accepting people, etc. I began looking for a way out, and suicide suddenly presented itself as an answer. But in the end I simply dropped out of the major.

    I chose architecture and my university for the wrong reasons. I chose it for the prestige, and the fact that I felt like not many people go into architecture, so I had a better chance of getting in. But now I don't know what I'm doing - I mean, I switched to PoliSci, but even then I have no huge ambitions, and I barely have the motivation to work on my essays. I sometimes feel like I'm dooming myself for failure, like I should off myself before I cause any more drama and money for my parents. All I wanted was a job to pay rent and food, I didn't need to go here for that...
  7. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    talk to your advisers or administrators...
    if you're in america, you can take a medical leave and it won't affect you, your education, or your financial aid in any don't have to go home to the parents...
    and get some therapy...simply talking helps...

    i'm in your shoes...medical school instead of law school...forced into the profession by my parents...very depressed and suicidal...nobody knows me here...i am alone...can't focus on am i suppose to pass exams in less than a week?
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