Every day is a day the lord gave and is suposed to be filled with his glory right? then what is his glory, am i just blind or do i just refuse to see it,probably the latter, im tired of tring everything and no good comes from it. yesterday was the first day in almost a month i thought of suicide, but today im just so very hurt and i dont know why but i cant help but feel its my fault(just seems right). anyway i did thngs today i havent done in years and that just added to the pain and i knew it would but at the time it just felt good. i know im not making any sence right now i never do just kinda lettin someone know whats goin on my phone is full of notes and msgs that i made as a way to let it out. i cant trust anyone to not freak out on me when i tell them what im feeling and the only person who i can talk to is with her boyfriend right now and i dont want to ruin her night.