I don't feel there is a me anymore There's nothing guiding my decisions. The me I used to be at least had a center and kind of a goal. Even if it was a bad goal. No I have nothing. Just zombied. Problem is I don't really care. that's part of the zombification. The panic/anxiety is down, but maybe too much. I'm relying on the people I'm with to "protect" me. Not only is that dumb, it could be catastrophic. I don't know who I am. Sounds so cliche and stupid. I'm sure I'm not this person. I need Sam. But he's gone. I need someone who cares about me and who I believe cares about me. It's all so meaningless to me. I can't explain. I can't. All that come to mind are cliches.