No compassion for my mother...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Remedy, Apr 18, 2009.

  1. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I need to rant. :mad: My mother had a bad problem with alcohol when I was younger. I don't have a problem with drinking, but she was very aggressive to the point I'd have to go to work with my dad and sit on the stairs a lot of nights. Because of this she also let me down on small things like picking me up from school on last days, and just being there really. I feel like I'm over reacting, or that it's my fault... I don't hate her (when she's sober) but I couldn't care less when she cries... I mean why should I? I cried countless times because of her. This was mainly when I was 5-12. Even now she's drunk when I need her... And I'm the one in the wrong? I'm the selfish person who only thinks of myself, because I don't want her to drink anymore? How come her friends, family, partner can see the problem too, if it's only in my head? It really gets to me, and makes me feel like a horrible person. :( She's the only person who could support me in real life, I need her...
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It's not you being selfish. She is the one with a problem, but she sounds very much like she is just passing the buck, so to speak, and is making it everone elses responsibility because she won't take responsibility for herself.

    I'm sorry she turns it on you, and I'm sorry she lets you down when you need her. That must be very hard to deal with.
     
  3. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    You're definitely not selfish honey.

    I grew up feeling that sometimes I was the parent in my house, so I can relate a little to how you must be feeling.

    Massive hugs :console: xx
     
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Thank you both for the replies. Logically I know she's the one in the wrong, it just helps to hear it sometimes. It's sad really, she's so nice when drink isn't involved.
    Claire_83 I often feel like I'm the adult too, trying to stop their arguments all the time. When they do shout mum just uses me to score points. Pathetic really.