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No emotions, just want to get it over and done with.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by doctortrips, Jul 31, 2010.

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  1. doctortrips

    doctortrips New Member

    I've always considered suicide to be a selfish and a cowardly thing to do but honestly it doesn't really matter to me anymore, I have lost all will to live. I don't feel a thing whatsoever. I also think it would be beneficial to my parents because I know they secretly think of me as an embarrassment to them. I have zero friends, by choice by the way - I like to push people out of my life because I just do not like to deal with them.

    I don't have a tough life, in fact, I know a lot of people wouldn't mind trading places with me. I don't suffer from any illnesses other than a mild form of paranoia and a history of depression (so they say but not really, it was actually social anxiety which has gotten much better). Really, I shouldn't have anything to complain about. So one would ask, why even bother? And to answer that, I honestly wouldn't know how to that as incredibly ridiculous and pathetic as it may sound. It isn't a rash decision, let me tell you, I've been dwelling on it for many years now. I don't need to explain my situation, it isn't important. I don't want sympathy, don't deserve it. Basically I just want to go without leaving any traces of myself but how to do that?

    How to go about this?
    What do I do with my belongings? I'm thinking about burning most of my useless things or selling them. Destroying photos of myself. I am in the process of deleting all accounts I've registered.
    Do people think about small things before offing themselves? I mean they are dying after all, what could they possibly worry about other than the wellbeing of their loved ones.

    What are some important things that need to be taken care of before we commit the coward's way out?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 31, 2010
  2. Soul of a Dragon

    Soul of a Dragon Well-Known Member

    Before you commit suicide, you have to find your soul. As your body is just a vessel, If you are empty you are already dead. But since you are still here means your soul is still trying to find its way to connect with the body.

    I wouldn't give up so easily, there are things out there you have no idea about right now. Just because you think nothing is worth living for and there is nothing out there doesn't mean its true. How about you think about it? Think really hard, are you really that empty? Would the world be even alive if there was nothing to live for?
  3. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    It's a pro-life forum dude. You gotta expect people trying to talk you out of it here. :p

    Just because somebody else is worse off than you (there's always somebody worse off than someone else), doesn't mean your suffering is any less significant. And I know you're suffering, or else you wouldn't be considering this. Even emptiness is a type of suffering, if that's what you're feeling right now (I apologize for assuming, the tone of the writing is making me think this).
  4. myrobotfriend

    myrobotfriend Member

    It's interesting that you are trying to rationalize your depression, and your suicide attempt, as though it is a logical end to the suffering that you rationalize you shouldn't even have.

    You don't have to rationalize your emotions like that. Emotions, including depression, are irrational. They are often controlled by our hormones, not our circumstances. You can't control the pattern of your hormones, you can't control your depression. You can't mathematically calculate that your life should end. It's completely illogical.

    Before you continue to contemplate suicide, I'd say what you should do is go to your doctor, and ask for a referral. Or, if not, call a suicide line and talk to the person on the other end.
  5. Jace

    Jace Active Member

    It sounds like you haven't found anything to live for. Do you have a passion for anything? Is there anything that you are even a little bit interested in?
  6. beampje

    beampje Member

    I'm not going to try and talk you out of this, given my own situation that would be quite hypocritical. I would just like to say that I know exactly how you feel, and I do feel sympathy for you, even though you say you don't deserve it. What you write seems so familiar that I could have written it myself. Therefore I can ask you the two things that have been keeping me from going through with it: have you really explored every option that could better your condition of life? You own it to yourself to investigate that. And can you account for yourself to the people who remain behind? Personally I've never managed to adequately write the farewell-letters, which those around us deserve. I can only wish you all the best, and tell you that my thoughts are with you.
  7. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    You yourself say you have much to live for. PLEASE stay. Live and see the what lies ahead. It might be joy!!!! Im praying for you.
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