I am 20 years old. I am a college student. I live in America. I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have just come to terms with this fact. I do not know myself. I have only pretended to. Everything about me is an illusion. My personality is a lie. All of my relationships are shallow and cosmetic. I have no empathy. I am a useless waste of space, potentially harmful to others and better off dead than living. I feel as if the usual types of support do not apply to my particular situation. Google "narcissistic personality disorder" and all you see are tips for recovering from the damage people like me have caused. There is no treatment or therapy for someone like me because most of the time we remain delusional for our entire lives and never seek treatment. But I have finally woken up, and I am terrified of what I see. I realize I am not special, I am not entitled, I am not any of the things I thought I was. I am less than human, I am nothing. There has never been any recorded case of a narcissist recovering or overcoming his condition. Because I do not care about other human beings, I am completely expendable. And for good reason. I am reaching out because I don't want to die. But everything about me that is human is telling me that I have failed and that there is no redemption and that the world would be a better place without me.