No End to Suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by reborn1961, May 1, 2007.

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  1. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    I don't think a day has gone by in the last 7 years that I haven't thougt about suicide. I have been through my attemps, therapy, meds and hospitals. I have to ask, when will it stop. Why can't I have live without these thoughts.

    I find myself sitting in a dark closet or under the sheet just crying and praying for the pain to stop. Was I such a bad girl that this is my punishment? Did I put the cuts on my arm or did the bad girl?

    I surf the net for methods and read all the stories, so many that are far worse than mine. I always comeback to SF because I felt like I was safe somehow. But I don't know how to converse in chat anymore, guess I am just and old hag. I try to post as best I can and hope to give hope to someone else.

    I know I am drowing. I'm just very scared.
  2. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    You're not alone there- I go to bed every night, hoping I won't wake up.
    When i wake, it's the 1st thing I think about before the drudgery of each day.
    Tried several methods-either they don't work, or i chicken out. But the thought is constantly on my mind. Empty life, but not able to end it. sucks!
    And about the chat-they're all kiddies, so I know what you mean there.
    Only thing I try to tell myself, (doesn't work too well), is that ya never know what's around the next corner. So I try to go around lots of corners when I'm up to it:rolleyes: Please try not to be scared; it would seem I have no place to go but down, but I keep from being scared by not projecting, (& lots of denial:laugh: )

  3. reborn1961

    reborn1961 Guest

    Thanks for your response. I wish I could learn to laught. I have not stop to wish to go and I am beginning to think it will never go away. Perhaps what will be will be. I can accept that. Thanks
  4. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    I think suicidal thoughts are like opening a can of worms; once you let them out, you can't push them back from where they came... but i think there's a way to close that can again, get rid of some worms.
    Hang in there reborn. You don't have to accept it. there's always a hungry bird somewhere, that is to say, hope.
  5. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    hope speak again soon re.hugs to you
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