I don't think a day has gone by in the last 7 years that I haven't thougt about suicide. I have been through my attemps, therapy, meds and hospitals. I have to ask, when will it stop. Why can't I have live without these thoughts. I find myself sitting in a dark closet or under the sheet just crying and praying for the pain to stop. Was I such a bad girl that this is my punishment? Did I put the cuts on my arm or did the bad girl? I surf the net for methods and read all the stories, so many that are far worse than mine. I always comeback to SF because I felt like I was safe somehow. But I don't know how to converse in chat anymore, guess I am just and old hag. I try to post as best I can and hope to give hope to someone else. I know I am drowing. I'm just very scared.