life is so boring. i dont do anything because im done with school and im searching for a job but no one is calling me back. im beginning to think i have an eating disorder because of my fear of vomiting. i eat during the day but whenever i eat i feel sick so i stop. my stomach really hurts at night because im so hungry but im afraid to eat because i dont want to wake in the middle of the night feeling sick. ive been so dehydrated lately but its so hard to drink fluids when you feel sick to your stomach. i thought i was gonna collapse today because i was so dehydrated. i drink a bottle of water one day and i feel so accomplished but then the next day i know i have to do it again and its just so hard to do. i didnt want to but this in the eating disorder section because i dont want to think that i have a disorder or i dont want to label it. then on top of it i dont feel like i deserve anything not even food. i know i have earned so much in the past year but i just dont feel like i have done much and i should try harder but i cant find the energy. i feel so emotionally and physcally drained everyday. im afraid to get a job because i know i will feel sick and i dont want them to fire me because i keep asking to go home or for breaks. i have gone to the doctor. took tons of tests. nothing abnormal.