So I'm new to this site and I'm here for obvious reasons. I'm 23 years old and at this point there is not a lot keeping me from putting the steel to my head. Friends by name I have many, friends by meaning I have none. My parents openly do not love me and I've been alone for quite some time. I've been a firm believer from a young age that human beings do not need love. I've survived this long without out and I can survive longer. The question is why should I? If you are thinking about replying to this post and feel the need to mention that "god" loves me, then don't bother. I believe that god is astrological and there is absolutely nothing to change my mind about that. Once again, please DO NOT use god in your reply. I've also seen posts saying that I should not THINK like no one loves me. Well there is no use in not thinking that because in my case it's obvious. I don't know anyone, and the ones who do know me are either loose friends or they just plain don't like me. That brings me back to a previous statement about not needing love. I understand that I can deal without it, but it's pretty hard. The worse things get for me, the worse I respond. All the time I was being abused as a child, I figured it was my fault. My mother and father were never going to stay together, but they had me and never forgave me for that. I know ultimately that is not my fault but the bottom line is I took the wrap for it. That's what it boils down to. I've taken the wrap for everything and at some point I think a person should have the right to call it quits. People say that you're "selfish" for suicide. Who the fuck is ANYONE to tell ME that I'M selfish! I've spent my entire life giving, reaching, STRIVING, to be normal, to have friends, to have LOVE. It's not happening, and the longer I wait, the worse I get thus making it harder to ever acheive a normal life. People say it's "cowardly" to commit suicide? How? I can gaurentee there isn't a person on this site I couldn't stand up to. I'm not "afraid" of life, I just don't like living and I want to die.