Many times, when I wake up I just stare off into space wondering why I am still here. I lay there, with no desire to get up and do anything. This has been going on for years. I'm a zombie. I hate this world, for making me live when I would've preferred to not exist at all. I hate physical contact, when someone touches me, I want to break their arm off. I shouldn't be like that! I'm a zombie that hates human contact, yes I'm sure things "will get better." I just wish I knew how to painlessly and effectively commit suicide. I'd feel sorry for my family, but I'm sure they'd get over it soon enough.