I feel like I can't get better as I have no fight/energy left in me. Believe me I have tried but to no avail. I have tried meds & CBT to reduce my anxiety/OCD. Become more social and make friends but everyone I have met have treated me like rubbish and/or treat me as I'm invisible, leaving me more fragile than before There's no motivation to get better if you already tried and nothing good come from it. Even other people I have met with MH issues have had somewhat of a decent life, positive experiences, loved ones in their life. Yet looking back I cant remember a time I was happy, even in childhood. Never been in a relationship or been intimate with the opposite sex, even holding hands. Friendship wise, maybe 16 years ago I had someone I would call a best friends. 16 years being alone has taken it's toll on me. Why continue to exist if this is all I have to look forward in life - more struggle and heartache. If I were to take my own life I know how'd I do it & where. I'm not afraid to do it, only thing stopping me from doing it is feeling guilty by leaving my family. They dont really care about me yet if I were go only then would they take notice of me, how sad is that! I tried to be a good person, very morally strict and always try to do the right thing and help other people. Yet where has it got me, people who are horrible and selfish have a better life and are in less pain than me, what did I do to deserve this life?