no food

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by elmagico, Aug 31, 2013.

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  1. elmagico

    elmagico New Member

    what can i tell you?, im sorry you fell like that, i know how it fells cause im felling same way myself. at the begining i was very stress a lot of anguish sadness panic anxiety but once i see the posibility that i can end my life and i dont have to sufer no more a sort of calmness came to me, like the knowing that i dont have to fell this way forever.
    i have been mentaly diferent since i can remember , struglling all my youth trying to fit in, well, its imposible, now im 55 , i fell old and tired, i dont even have the money to buy more medicines, or food, or anything.
    last december i tried suicide for the fourth time, i took a lot of <edit mod total eclipse method> my exgirlfriend found me like 12 hours later an took me to the hospital and then she put me in a psychiatric facility , i dont remember much, i was uncouncious for several days and when i woke up i was in a hospital bed with my hands tied to it. sorry about the gramar and the spelling but english is not my lenguange, im in mexico, in a small town.
    in the hospital they put me on risperdal and effexor and i felt fine but like a zombie, like if i were stoned out of my mind.
    i just could take that medication for two months more or less and then i changed the risperdal for abilify and it was much better. but my suicidal thoughts have been still with me, they dont go away.
    i have a daughter, and two dogs, thats all my family, i have no job, no money, and soon no food also.
    im tired of trying suicide without making it, and with all my expierences of early atempts i have become afraid of cutting my wrists again, or taking pills and dont die and just become sicker.
    so i think im just going to stop eating, today is my second day with no food, i just drink diet coke , i have two left, and water i have, all the food is going to be for the dogs, that worries me because the food is not much .
    but like i said, im tired of stugling and now that i decided to stop eating sudenly i fell calm.
    im new here, i didnt know where to post this so i just posted it here , im sorry if im breaking any rules.
    let see what hapens, day 2 today.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 31, 2013
  2. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    what did all that stuff mean?. i'm m confused....
  3. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    what was all that?

    i am rather confused....
  4. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to confuse you. I know what it is like to be in a foriegn language environment, especially when you are distraught, and so I thought I would send elmagico a post in Spanish. Not intended to be secretive or rude, or to exclude everybody else, just as a friendly gesture, that's all.

    However, in order to keep the discussion open to everyone who can help support elmagico, I will keep it in english from now on. :sorry: :redface-new:
  5. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    it's okay. their is no need to appologize- in fact sending a post to him is very thoughtfull. was just a little confusedd is all... wasn't even sure forign languages were allowed on here, but obviously it's fine.
  6. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    it's actually very thoughtfull sending him a post, i'm glad you did so.... was just a bit confused. and hey, it's the first time i've actually seen someone here post in a forign language- didon't know it was allowed. no need to appologize
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