I don’t understand humans at all. My situation is a long term problem caused by unsolicited prolonged social isolation. I wasted 13 years of my life talking with different “professional” with no positive end result. It actually ended with them offering me medication to make terminating my life easier; time ‘til death was roughly three months. I was forced to join a counselling group when I was seven with other problematic kids and because of something that happened there, my life got a lot worse. My past is irrelevant; right now because of it, I have zero connections to anything in this planet and that’s the problem. Situation dictates that I move forward; any future leniency will be denied. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this but if I do, it will not end well for me. From an early age I stated that I would do everything I could to improve the lives of others. Issue here is if no one is there to save me, how can I ever save anyone else. Regular social gatherings don’t work. I have problems, I’m not normal; people want “drama” free individuals and I’m currently not that. I’ve met so many unbelievable women in the past year but I’m not what any of them are looking for in a guy. The people that could have been friends want to engage in activities that I can’t do because of the damage from my past. Talking, in this case will not resolve anything. I have to go but I need a reason to come back. I’m seriously afraid of what will happen if I move forward without a lifeline.