I don't have any friends. Occasionally I'll meet someone who's so pessimistic that I know that they won't just judge me negatively, but the world as a whole. In that case, I end up feeling comfortable talking to them and in some cases hanging out. But I don't want friends like that, friends who aren't interested in anyone else's well being. A couple of months ago, I met a friendly, popular girl who I ended up traveling home from class with. I thought she was playing with my mind- I completely misinterpreted a situation and went off on her. I was starting to get manic at the time, and I didn't see things the way they were. But while that's otherwise not the case, something always goes wrong, and I don't know what it is. I have made friendships with a few shy girls which have been extremely short lasting. Everything seems to be going fine, and then after a while I get ignored when I call them. I have a learning disability and I can say for sure I have an avoidant personality (AvPD) which may cause me to have restricted social skills, as is generally the case. People who have central auditory processing difficulties take certain things that people say too literally, and at times I don't interpret things the same way as others do. But whatever the reasons, I simply have not been able to connect with people lately. If I'm chatting online, my personality shines through, but in person I mostly go unnoticed. This needs to change. But I don't know how. This post contains sensitive matters. I'm fortunate to be able to share it here, with a caring community, knowing that I won't be joked at.