I had to have more test's done today, even my body is rejecting the idea of help, they tried and tried to get blood and only managed to 1/4 fill the 3 tubes needed. Nothing seems to be going right at the moment, I'm about to lose my job due to medical grounds (once the p/doc tells them that the only way I will ever "improve" is to attend this unit for 3 days a week..reality is a business at the moment can't afford an employer like me)..I'm 17k in debt, I'll lost the house because I won't/can't afford to pay the mortgage. The person I share with and I haven't spoken for 5 weeks so its very unsettling at the house, its not safe here either. Each week the debts are going up, each day my health is getting worse, each day I'm taking more tablets then I should be, each day another part of me disappears. So misunderstood, nobody understands me and I don't understand me. i feel completely lost in the world and the only way out of it, is to end it I can't see anything else. I know its stupid, pathetic, selfish but at this moment I just want to walk away from life, say goodbye to everything and everyone and die. I am so tired of feeling this way. makes no sense to me either. I've no idea what to do, where to turn.