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No good deed goes unpunished

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Stormrider, Mar 24, 2011.

  1. Stormrider

    Stormrider Well-Known Member

    My sister gave birth today, so i'm an uncle now(sounds a bit old doesn't it ? :) )
    Anyway, i visited her at the hospital today after work and offcourse i met several people of my family there, everybody oofcourse saying stuff to me like "now it's your turn", or "you still don't have a girlfriend ?", stuff like that.
    I just recently got some peace with my miserable life and now damn people are shoving my lonely life in my face again.

    Anyway, i'm happy for my sister and my brother in law, but i t doesn't really mean anything to me that i'm an uncle, i don't feel related to the child at all.
    I did so much for my sister and her friend, helped moving them to ther houses, (once after a night shift, without sleep for 48 hours moving untill the evening), when they bought a house i worked my ass off getting the trees and plants in their yard away, digging for waterpipes etc. played personal free taxy for them when my brother in law didn't have his driving liscense yet. But after all that they couldn't even give me a bit of friendship, i asked them to let them know when they would go to a party etc.(they used to go out with friends of them a lot) but they always forgot or something like that, when i wanted to visit them at home then i couldn't cause they' were cleaning or just leaving, or very tired,
    One of the last times i made a call to set a date to go there a day in advance and the next day after work( i was allready riding there) they just messaged me to call it off because they suddenly planned to go the movies(they didn't even bothered to ask me to go with them).
    They know i'm lonely so what gives them the fucking right to just use me when i'm convenient for work , transport,...
    Anyway last time they askes me to help them at their house i just refused, can't let people walk over me all my life.
    But it's making me sick that i try to do good things for everyone, always being ready to help, day and night and in the end almost nobody cares about this fucking loser. Even a bit of friendship is asking for too much.

    I can handle my lonely life at the moment, but i just don't need people to shove it in my face all the time. And i would love a bit of appreciation for the things i do for other people.Sometimes i just feel like a tool they use and throw waway when the job is done. :furious:

    Anyway, all things considered i'm doing fine (not great but not bad either) just had to get this out now.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry your sister is not returning the kindness that you have showed her. Family can be so cruel I am glad you are setting boundaries now though not letting them use you Hugs to you
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm glad you got the chance to vent and get that out. People can be so insensitive and rude. I'm not defending them but those phrases they threw at you are used on everyone. It's almost like some sort of rite or something. And people just dont think how cruel those phrases can come out at the person they use them on. And they usually get aimed at exactly the situation you were in. Viewing a brand new baby. It's as if those people get zapped by some sort of bug that makes them see only the joy of the new baby and they want it to stay. So they throw them out there. I know it's hard to ignore them, but please try.

    I'm really impressed with the courage you showed in standing up for yourself. I hope it made you feel a little bit better about you. Keep taking those steps and soon you will find your self esteem and self worth growing more and more.
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you are a great guy, and you are being under appreciated by you sister and her husband. Believe it or not though there are people out there that are just like you and that do bend over backwards for others, and get used to some degree. In all honesty you are a better person than I in some respect because you have done all of this for the sake of doing it.
    I try to be the best person I can be sometimes, and even I cannot do it even though I desire to. Or will not do it honestly.
    In my faith we allow others to use us this way to show we love them through actions and we are not to expect anything from those people. That is how the Messiah has showed us how to show love through our actions for others. But there is a reward for us, and it goes hand in hand with what we believe. If you are interested in any of that Pm me if you like, but there are others who strive to be and act as you do. It is lonely being this way because people in general are selfish. I am still trying to change from being a selfish person into a selfless person as you display you are. I know we are all human and we have our limits though. I have been there. No one can fault you for that. You are not a loser by any means and your good deeds are not unnoticed. Blessings..
  5. seekinghope

    seekinghope Member

    My situation is different from yours, but I can relate to how the people in your life who are supposed to make you feel better and less lonely, actually make you feel worse. The closest family I have are my grandparents, and they could never understand how I could possibly be lonely. I have no real friends, and I've never had a girlfriend, but in their view, having them, who've always laughed and made fun of me when I tried to tell them about a problem, is all I should ever need. In their view, I'm nothing but an immature jerk for wanting anything more.
    I am luckier than you, however, in the sense that I don't have to deal with all that "why are you still single?" crap. Why on earth do people consider this and appropriate question to ask anyone? Would anyone ever ask someone "Why are you divorced?"