No hope left :p

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Deadrosered, Apr 18, 2016.

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  1. Deadrosered

    Deadrosered New Member

    Idk I just really need to talk to someone? Anyone? About what's gone on the past few days and why I'm ready to die
    my life was fine, I have a great job, great friends, getting out of debt slowly
    I still get depression because that happens no matter how great life is
    But I met this amazing guy and he said he loved me and all this nice stuff, and he was a safe place to go when I was down
    But then I asked if he meant the stuff he said to me, and he says he doesn't even remember saying any of it
    So I dumped him, got really drunk, ended up falling asleep and being late for work, sent home immediately for being drunk still.then I stayed up all night and fucked some random guy I met at a bar, slept through my alarm the next day and missed work
    So now I find out today if I'm fired or not, and if I am I really can't think of any reason to go on.I've planned my death and it all hinges on whether I get fired today or not
    I'm 28, I'm too old to be acting this way or getting so fucked up over I'm absolutely certain I'm can I get another job now and how can I pay my debts and how could anyone love such a stupid piece of shit like me? I really have no hope left and I'm trying to think of how I could go on or what I have left to live for but there's just nothing
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum @Deadrosered
    *hugs* Yes you can get another job. What about reaching out to someone in real life to talk to.
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Deep breaths hun.

    I know everything might seem bleak right now, but ending your life is not the answer.
    Why couldn't you get another job? If you get fired at all?

    Could you try to call your boss and explain to them that you had a crisis situation, and tell them it won't happen again?

    No matter what, please don't hurt yourself over this. Could you call up a friend and talk to them about what is going on?
    If you feel way too desperate I urge you to call a crisis number or go to the hospital to get help.

    Hurting yourself is never the answer. Please take care of yourself!
  4. Deadrosered

    Deadrosered New Member

    Thanks guys ;-;
    I tried to message my best friend but he hasn't replied.i lost my phone so I can't call anyone.i know other friends are online but I don't want to bother them, I'm so embarrassed of who I've become :((
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    *hugs* you can pull through this. I know what is going on right now for you must feel disastrous but you can and will get through this. Explain to your boss that you are in a sticky situation and let them know that this was a once off and won't happen again hopefully. I am always around if you need a chat ((hugs))
  6. Deadrosered

    Deadrosered New Member

    Thank you ;-;
  7. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome to the forum, as Petal suggested above, I would try and speak with your boss and explain the situation you're going through, hopefully your boss will have compassion and keep you employed. even of this doesn't work out, I'm sure you will still be able to find work. Take care of yourself and don't think about your other plan, it's not an option to be considered. You will get through this and there are people here that will support you.
  8. Deadrosered

    Deadrosered New Member

    Thank you so much guys
    My friend finally got back to me
    And I did lose my job but talking to you guys and my friend has pulled me out of that mindset, so I won't act on my plan.thank you for listening it meant so much to have someone notice and listen to me, thank you
    Brian777 and ThePhantomLady like this.
  9. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    *hugs* I'm sorry that you lost your job, but I'm glad that you talked to your friend. Good luck with your job search.
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