no hope, no point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Emptysoul, Apr 28, 2008.

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  1. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    I dont know what to do, im really depressed and uts getting worce. I cant sleep ive been having hardly any which dosnt help and i just want it to all end.
    I cant go and see my doc as they allways say im making it up and to go away and stop wasting their time. im just feeling really down, i can tcry however much i try too, im never hungry, cant concentrate on most things, i cant seem to enjoy anything anymore and my sex drive has gone completly.
    i want to go out but cant seem to get the energy not that ive got anywher to go as all my friends allways seem to be busy. im useless and cant do anything right. i took an overdose the other day but it didnt work, nor enough pills and ive started cutting again. i just want it all to end, to end my worthless pityfull existance. theres too much to cope with, so many problems that are out of my control. i should just go for a walk <mod edit gentlelady-methods> so i dont have to feel this way anymore or just jump in my car <mod edit-gentlelady-methods>to remove this empty shell from its worthless existance
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 28, 2008
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sleep deprivation can lead to all types of problems including deepening your depression and suicidal ideations. I don't know what all you have tried to be able to sleep, but this that is the first step toward healing. I am sorry to hear your doctor is not doing anything to help you. Is there somewhere else you can go? Could you maybe have a sleep study done? Sometimes there are medical causes for insomnia. It could be caused by thyroid problems or sleep apnea for example. It may be worth looking into. i hope you finde relief soon so you can feel better,. :hug:
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i agree with gentlelady, sounds like you have depression.
    your doctor sounds terrible, also sounds like they don't know the first thing about depression. please find another doctor. you could ask friends who they see, or find an open clinic somewhere and just go. the fact that you are looking at suicide as an option means this is very serious, and a good doc would recognise that. finally, peer support can be a great thing. are there any depression support groups near you?
     
  4. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    Ive had a look and theres nothing that close to me the nearest seem to be norwich and thats over an hours drive away or kettering and thats about 3/4 an hour away. I might live in a city with 2 hospitals but you cant get any help unless your doc refers you and they wont. ive only had 2 good docs in my life and id have to move to get them back. at least my dentists good and its NHS lol
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    man, i just want to go over there and slap some sense into your doctor. why send someone in need away? i just don't get it. okay, you have your dentist. start there. call him up and find out who his/her doctor is - say you want to switch and who do *they* trust. gosh, why does everything have to be so hard. please don't give up. i have felt as low as you do right now, and after 5 months of intensive treatment i don't feel as suicidal anymore. i tell you this so you know that recovery, although difficult, is possible. please hang on.
     
  6. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    I wouldnt be suprised that it is because it would create too much paperwork, this is the NHS were talking about lol. I about to go to my docs again to see if i can get an appointment (and to see about getting a copy of my medical record), Its taken me over 2 days just to build up the guts to leave the house and get in my car. Im shattered and I cant stop shaking, i'll be a nervious reck by the time I get back. god knows what im gonna be like next week when i gotta go for a blood test at the hospital, they sent me a letter and a new appointment as i didnt go to the last one, just couldnt face leaving the house
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    we have a similar system here in ireland, it's called the HSE and it is a huge bureaucracy. but there are emegencies, and feeling suicidal is an emergency. once i told my doc how suicidal i felt he just cut through all that red tape and by the next day i was getting an assessment at the mental health department of our local hospital. the paperwork hadn't arrived, but basically i just got in a cab and showed up at the hospital. the day after, a community mental health nurse came to see me at home. sometimes, as hard as it is, we need to stand up for ourselves. since you will be at the doctor's office to find out about your paperwork, can you insist that it is an emergency and that you'd like to be seen? you'll be there anyhow. also, is there a friend who can take you? you don't have to tell them the full story, just ask for them to come with you. i took my brother-in-law. :)
     
  8. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    everyones at work lol and it would just give me another excuse not to go i i went to pick up a friend first. im very good at excuses lol, all i gotta do is get out the front door then i should be fine
     
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    okay, good luck! i'm sending you good vibes over the sea. let me know how it went?
     
  10. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    Finally some luck, went to the docs n talked to him and it was allright, my first positve experence at the docs for years lol. got an appointment at the hospital wens afternoon so hopefully everything goes ok
     
  11. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    like i said in the PM, way to go. i am glad you worked up the courage to speak about how low you are feeling, and i wish you some more of that courage on wednesday.
     
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