no hope?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mclough12, Dec 31, 2012.

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  1. mclough12

    mclough12 New Member

    I'd love to hear somebody that could relate to me, or have anything really. I'm a 22 year male who really has no direction in life. Attended college for 3 years before being kicked out for academic reasons. After that I attended junior college in the hopes of getting back into a decent university. My mother died of a brain tumor shortly after. I quickly became disinterested in school and stopped going to my junior college classes. Hell I would drive to the junior college and sit in my car just so my dad thought I was attending these classes that he's paying for. Why? I don't have the slightest clue, and yes, I'm a dumbass for doing this.

    My girlfriend of 4 years, whom I love to death, is on the verge of letting me go and I honestly don't have anyone to blame but myself. However, as much as I want to change and do something good for myself I just don't. I drink my day away, everyday. such a sad, sad life. my girlfriend and i have had an amazing 3 years together, but in this last one i have just become a completely different person.

    There's something wrong with me knowing i'm doing wrong to myself, but not doing anything about it. like i'd rather sit in misery than do something to better my future. everyone has such high expectations of me and always have, i'm sick of disappointing everyone.

    i just wish it could all be done with
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    There are a lot of people that can relate to your situation though the specific details may very in small part. Talk here and find some support in this as a first start. I would really look into some assistance with the drinking as well since it will be very difficult to work through difficulties or make amends with your girlfriend when large portions of each day are spent intoxicated and unable to think clearly. It also likely has a much to do with your depression as that is what alcohol is- a depressant that the intended purpose of is to make the person that consumes it depressed.

    Take Care and Be Safe

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