No Hope

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Jt119, Aug 22, 2016.

  1. Jt119

    Jt119 New Member

    I'm 26 and for about 4 years now I have pretty much lost the will to live. My family loves me and I have a 3 year old with another one on the way, and yet I feel like I'm trapped inside of a hole that I cannot get out of. I cry and cut myself atleast every other day. In the past two years I have become an alcoholic and a pill user (ecstasy and adderall) to try and cope with my sadness.. I went from being in the military and being someone to be proud of to being a loser who quits every job he gets because he can't find a reason to go.. I feel so selfish and it hurts because I can't help it..<Mod edit:Methods>.. I've tried praying and meditation but nothing works.. When I try to talk to someone they give me the same old "you can overcome" speech and that doesn't help.. I just hope that I can find happiness before I find the courage to pull the trigger..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2016
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey Jt, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, it sounds like depression. I'm just wondering if there was something that happened a couple years back that triggered this change in you. I believe your situation is changeable, but you may need some help to get back on track. You could speak with your doctor or a therapist, maybe check with the VA if you're in the US and see if they can help steer you in the right direction for help. You're still young and have a lot to live for with the family and kids. But I understand how empty life feels dealing with this. I hope you decide to seek some outside help and in the mean time post here. Lots of us here are dealing with similar problems and know how you feel. If you want to speak privately pm on the site. Take care my friend.
    Brian
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Jt and welcome, I am not going to tell you that everything is going to get better overnight because it is not, it taks strength and great determination. I hope you can find a way out of this but please do not make an attempt on your life because with professional help and even with peer support you can finally make a recovery and not want to do that. You have a baby on the way and a 3 year old they need you. Just because you took some pills, that does not make you a loser, you won't be the same person in 10 years time and in another 10 years after that. Just take it day by day and you will get there. I will be thinking of you and keep talking to us here if it helps! :)
     
    Brian777 likes this.
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You are important but done days are going to tough and some day will much easier. It's dependant on what's the next course of action you are going to take. As you were based in the military, could you suffering from PSTD, if you were posted abroad or is it a case of trying to adjust to civilian life.

    If I have offended, then I apologise for hurt or extra unnecessary distress I have caused. It takes time to recover but you can do with our support. So please keep posting and be safe.
     
  5. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    You want happiness that is easy. Happiness is in the eyes of your 3 year old that runs to you because the missed you. You have to find happiness from within, no one can give it to you. The alcohol is a depressant and the other drugs you are taking are just clouding your judgement. Getting those out of your life would help you immensely. Maybe go to a gym and do some "dumbbell therapy." Your behavior is not just affecting you; it is affecting your entire family.

    Maybe finding an alternate method to SH that will not leave you scars, that some day your children will ask about.