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no hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Grizzly_Guy, Jan 5, 2008.

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  1. Grizzly_Guy

    Grizzly_Guy New Member

    ok over the past well year ive been really suicidle...even tried a couple of times, wasnt a complete succes as you can see...but im really worried that i wont last much longer.
    im well gay and i wish i wasnt and i hate myself for it,its funny, i have nothing against it but i hat what itll do to my family i hate that my parents will hate me, and my friends...i just cant see any point in hanging around anymore. my stupid brain is just rebelling agianst me again, i think people can read my mind and thats bad i think but its subsided abit latly....but i just want it to end......give me a reson to go on..ill have no familly or friends i cant cope on my own....my own father told me he would wish me dead if i was gay, im just a mess-up , haha i tried to call my GP today becaus the pain is so intense i just stay up all night alawing my arms trying to get to sleep, but the basterd was closed...i stod the shakeing......
    i need help but i cant find it......im lost :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2008
  2. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    It's not easy being different,if your friends dont understand,find new ones,if your family can't accept you for you,then maybe you should accept that, and move on with your life. Try to live life for yourself and not others.
    I know family is important, but not more important than your life.
    Give them time, and maybe they'll suprise you. Fill your life with those that love you for you.

    Take care
  3. Ogre101

    Ogre101 Member

    Hi Grizzly guy,

    Being Gay is nothing to be shamed of. I'm guessing from your brief post that you don't want to be gay as it will alienate you from your friends and family.
    The initial reaction from your father is unfortuantely the norm :( . I had a gay friend who told his mum and dad, the result was we had a house guest for 3 months. We had a very small house and it was awkward to say the least. One day there was a knock on the door and it was his father. My wife and I made a quick retreat to the shops and let them talk. When we returned they had made there peace.

    It can happen mate. Dads (me included) want our sons to be footballers, proffesionals, doctors infact anything but being gay. It will take a while for your father to get over this, but if he loves you he will.

    As for trying to kill yourself, seems to me your life is just about to begin don't throw it all away before you get to explore the REAL you.

    We are allways here for you on this site, use us, lean on us, talk to us :)
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hey Grizzly. You can't change who you are or who you're attracted to, but if you really want to please your friends and family, then you could in theory pretend to be straight. Maybe you're actually bisexual? Many dads want their son's to be manly and when they are not, they get disappointed. We're here for you man. :)
  5. ItsAHardRain

    ItsAHardRain Member

    hey Grizz,

    There's nothing wrong with you. There are so many people out there who would accept you for you. And if it's not your parents, that's b*S*. They're the ones who are supposed to love you unconditionally but parents sometimes royally screw up their job. You are not bad. Yes there are a lot of people out there who will be against you for being gay, there's also a lot of people just like you, and lots of people who will love you simply for you. You need to find these people, find a support group, find something. I know it's painful your dad feels such as he does, that's gotta hurt, but you are just going to have to rise above his ignorance and his fear. Maybe you will have to leave your family behind if they can't accept you. No reason for you to take your life when there's a whole world out there waiting to embrace you. I know it hurts, your parents are what gives you love and when they take that away it's the most awful thing to feel. But if there's any bit of strength in you, realize that your life is important, you were put here for a reason. Someday you can reach out to other gay teens and help them so they don't have to think about killing themselves either. Find it in you to rise above this. Be strong. Other peoples' ignorance is NOT YOUR FAULT. And it shouldn't have to take your beautiful life.
  6. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel. Now a days with so much homophobia and hate it feels so wrong. I'm gay and I feel so wrong. I feel like the world will never let me be myself. My parents and family pretty much let me be, we even joke about it from time to time. My dad is so funny when he tells me gay jokes. I love my family, they love me.

    I know its hard being gay... It can be really frustrating... A lot of days I hate myself for being gay. A lot of days I feel so dirty.
    I've tried suicide twice last year and nothing good came from it. I almost died the last time and being in a coma for 9 days really woke me up. I realized being gay wasn't a reason to kill myself. Even If I still feel wierd, I would never kill myself.

    About you feeling the world will leave you behind and you'll be all alone is a complete exaggeration. Even if your family doesn't understand I doubt they'll hate you. Your parents love you... They raised you, they took care of you. I seriously doubt being gay will totally destroy that love. It may take time for them to adjust though. But If you think they will make a big deal about it then just don't bring it up. There's nothing wrong with hiding it from your family until you are older and can fend for yourself.

    You'll find happiness eventually... You should just wait it out until you do.

    I hope you the best! =)
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2008
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