No hope

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bluedays, Oct 11, 2009.

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  1. bluedays

    bluedays Well-Known Member

    Mondays are always the hardest. And I think facing another week is more than I can do.

    I'm sinking... and desperately want this pain to just STOP. I need to make it stop.

    My heart is breaking into a million pieces and I can't stand it anymore
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 11, 2009
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    please tell us what happened? maybe talking will help...
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    What happens on Mondays? Is it having to go into work? If so, can you take a week (full seven days) vacation? I tell myself when I get so overwhelmed, that something has got to give and it ain't gonna be me. I've taken vacations when I couldn't afford it and it was just what I needed.

  4. ride26

    ride26 Member

    I will take that advice and save it for a very rainy day, thank you.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey i am sorry you are in so much pain is there anyone you can phone to talk to i never use to phone anyone but when i get to the point where i know i can't go on i call crisis. The people there calm me down get me to think straight it does help talking to a real person. I hope you can call in sick take a day off if the stress is to high. I do that as well better you take care of yourself first. Glad you can post here as well to let some of that pain out keep posting okay glad your here.
  6. titanicable

    titanicable Member

    I agree...maybe you should consider taking a week to yourself? Even if it's not just work or whatever it is. Sometimes we just need a break. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad =[ I hope you get to have your week or so off <3
  7. bluedays

    bluedays Well-Known Member

    I work at home taking care of my mom, and I am the sole caregiver. It's harder when my husband goes to work Monday morning & we start a new week because I know that it will be just me... and I know that all of the practicalities will fall on me alone. And I know that he is stressed at work as well & trying to juggle things.

    I am watching her brilliance slip away in front of me. It's not right, it's not fair. My heart feels shattered. I don't want to live every minute of every day.

    I am trying to get her on state assistance & working through the paperwork to possibly get someone in a few times a week... but it doesn't change the situation. If I care for her & watch this happen to her, I slowly go insane as I am doing now. I had severe anxiety & depression my whole life... before any of this even happened. And if I eventually have to place her somewhere, it will be just as bad or worse, and financially we can't afford it on our own so we will instantly have to move out due to our high debts & low income.

    I want to die today. I want to die every day. Living is just a slow death anyway. I pray constantly but I don't think God hears me.
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