I do not know what to do... it was so sudden. My kitty suddenly started acting weird. I went to bed and lost sleep because of her ususal "You are sleeping" routine. Then 6 hours later I wake up and notice something strange about her. She looks like she is limping... she cannot really turn around, she almost face plants if she makes a sudden movement. She is quiet all day long... she doesn't steal my work chair from me the first chance she gets. Theh suddenly she has a harder time walking and moving around. When she is sitting she just falls over. Another couple hours pass... she cannot even walk anymore.... she can only lie on her side and roll around. We go to the vet. The vet tests everything... it is likely a neurological thing like a brain legion or a tumor. Given how fast she has deteriorated just over the course of 6 hours... Days... is what she is given as her time left. Further degeneration will result in sesiours.... vet says that given her age.... I should think about... well we all know. What went wrong... all over the past couple years the vet always said "Your cat is going to live forever with that blood work". Now I have to sit here and watch as my poor kitty cannot even get up to use the litter box. I knew she was old and I was prepar...ing myself for the day when the end would come... but not this kind of end... not the kind of end that poof happens... the kind of end my other kitty went through... where it was a year or so of meds and TLC. Not one day... Kitty is good.. the next day kitty is at the end.... What do I do? She was my reason for breathing, if it was not a unconcious action. With her around I could find the will to get out of bed.. I could go to work... I could function... with her gone... I have nothing... I am nothing.... Why do I have to watch her die like this? How do I coup with this.. how do I not just end myself? What reason do I have? I know I will be here as long as I can while she is still here... I am out of food and I do not even want to go buy more food so that I can eat tonight... why did it have to happen like this... is something testing me? I know I have said that when my cat goes... I go... but.. I figured I would have at least 2 or 3 years of living in this new location before that happened. What do I do? I will enjoy the last time with my kitty... but... what then... why bother? Why not just let what my mom fears come true and kill myself like I have wanted to do for a long time? I guess for now I have to keep that promise/lie to my mom... but... what when I feel that the time has elapsed? What then... You cannot do this to me kitty... you are not allowed to do this...... I do not know what to think anymore... I just wish that this was all over... I just wish this was a bad dream where the kitty is just being a jerk.. I do not know what I should do anymore... part of me just wants to rot... I do not know... I just want to not feel.... what do I when I do not even want to think? What do I do when the only being that I have is about to die? I took better care of her than I ever did of myself. Why does she have to go? Why can't I just go..?