No longer see the point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bruces, Mar 6, 2015.

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  1. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I just can no longer see the point in living I despise it so very much I've suffered for 23 years and I'm just a mess,my whole life has been a screw up from beginning to end,I'm just past caring I havnt washed for 4 weeks and I don't care my family tell me I smell but I'm not bothered by it,life is such a chore and I want it to end but I don't seem to hve the courage to do it plus I'm guilty about what the consequences would be to my family but I suppose I won't be concerned about it when I'm gone I'm so tired of appointments with specialists and taking medication,I just think if only I'd have been normal but that's not the case,I have no interest in anything and even when people are talking to me I'm not listening I'm just focusing on death,it really can't come soon enough I don't think I can live like this much longer it's just hell,I have no interest in being Alive I hate everything about myself...
  2. noreturn

    noreturn New Member

    i feel just like you. its regarding my health and i know i will never recover. it wont take my life but i got to live like half a handicap. when people are talking about all matters of life, i seriously have no interest in what they are saying. i just want to be alone and not meet anyone. best if i could die, but because of my family i am still holding on.
  3. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    Yep same as me I'm only here cos of family but I'll do whatever it takes to make sure my life is shortened as far as I'm concerned I'm nothing but worthless scum
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    My life is a mess too. It just never goes away. I just wish that someone could help me. I think that my brain is damaged.
  5. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I literally cannot wait to the day I die and god I hope it's soon I don't deserve to walk this earth
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You deserve to be here just as much as the next person. I hope these thoughts ease soon so that you can feel some sense of relief.
  7. nightchangeskat

    nightchangeskat New Member

    Everyone deserve to be here.
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    There is a point in living. We all suffer everyday but we must never give up. Like you I wish not to exist but I found my vocation in life apart from this promise I must endure all my life.
  9. bayareagirl

    bayareagirl Well-Known Member

    I don't know what happened that you would think you are worthless. That's incredibly harsh but I understand it too. I have to believe that the only way forward when we're in such a mess is up. I hope so for you. Maybe you can try to fathom why you are beating yourself up with these judgements?
  10. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I don't deserve life
  11. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I know I am worthless as I can't do anything there's absolutey no point in me living really
  12. tossintowel

    tossintowel New Member

    In my sad mind is another part of being suicidal that comes as another form of depression that comes from not being able to commit suicide. None of my friends will help me do the deed. I get depressed even more seeing myself unable to simply do myself in. I have researched it for months, days, and hours. Finding the easy way to do it has granted me so many insights a "normal" person would never know. Like I have become an expert on it but still can't do it.
  13. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I know the feeling exactly I've spent many house researching it,I just wish I lived in a country that had legal euthanasia
  14. Tjh

    Tjh Active Member

    I have the same thoughts/feelings all the time. Hang in there Bruce.
  15. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I can't bear living I want it to be over as quick as possible
  16. Standpoints

    Standpoints Member

    You know how it smells outside after a good rain, do you remember that Bruces? Spring is coming soon with the fresh growing smell of spring rains. Remember any dreams, hopes or excitements you had about life when you were younger? Do you recall how good they made you feel? Do you remember having a good time in spite of yourself? Do you remember receiving a pleasant surprise?

    These are great things to think on and they may not all apply to you, but you may be able to think of some of your own. My point is that it's important to remember what depression does to all of us who suffer from it and remember it in a very basic manner--it blinds us by inaccurately narrowing possibilities. Because we have this handicap we each (myself DEFINITELY included) have to actively take some time every day to remember the positive side of life. I've been doing this every day and I've noted that it is making a positive difference against my depression. In my unprofessional opinion, I think it can help yours too.
  17. Kadoosh

    Kadoosh Member

    it is selfish to have children
  18. bayareagirl

    bayareagirl Well-Known Member

    Bruces, I'd like to hear what things your family say - my guess is that they have something good to say about you. Would you be willing to share that? I know you are in so much pain; I'm sorry it hurts. But I'd like to know something good about you because my guess is there is more than you are able to feel yourself right now.
  19. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I don't know where to go from here I'm just in so much pain and sorrow can't see a future only more blackness :(
  20. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I think it's time there's no more hope
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