no love?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by noplacetogo, Mar 17, 2009.

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  1. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    Do you ever worry that no one could ever love you? I know everyone who is alone thinks they will never have or find someone who could love them, but to seriously feel as if it will never happen... I think I am there. Anyone else sure no one will ever love them? That you're destined to be alone forever?
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good question..I have been in several relationships where what I thought was love turned out to be nothing but lust..Once that was lost then it was the end of the relationship..
     
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ..i've been around awhile.
    and i think everyone will go through a time like this.

    then when you least expect it, you find someone.
    and not just a physical attraction, that is overwhelming, making it feel like ''more'' than lust- as stranger1 just mentioned....but real love. (which usually includes lust, my opinion only)

    some people choose to remain alone. but i think if you are open to love - it will happen to you.
     
  4. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Love is blind.....just another cliche saying to make lonely people feel better about being alone. But it's the story of my life. Even if there was love for me I wouldn't open up enough to accept it.
     
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    This subject hits home with me, as I am going thru this divorce. I knew that was wife was the one for me, as I never felt the infatuation with her that I had with other girls before. I felt a since of longing to be with her. That's how I knew it was true love.

    It's funny, after my court deal yesterday, I was telling my soon to be ex wife, that apparently there isnt a market out there for slightly overweight 42 year old guys with a slight bald spot and bad credit.

    I dunno, my barber tells me that when one door closes, another one opens. I am always on the lookout for a future exwife, lol. But I do wonder if I am destined to be alone too. :sad:
     
  6. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i can never understand why people are so obsessed with having a relationship. i mean we are born alone and we die alone. there are just people in the time between that come in and out of our lives. some good, some bad. but the thing with relationships is when you dont have one you want one, but when you do have one theres a lot of stress that comes with it. like your almost living 2peoples lives because you care for them so much

    i think you need to love yourself and realise that you are your own best friend. theres me, myself and i. i used to see it as me and myself are the friends that i have.

    but this is just me speaking and my experiences and thoughts. no one has to agree
     
  7. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Even after being loved I still question wether they did and feel like nobody ever could love me... then again I don't think i deserve to be loved either...
     
  8. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Sounds to me like your brother was absolutely correct. I strongly believe that everyone is capable of finding love. The most important aspect of getting into a loving relationship is how you are doing. If you're in a bad spot , then you won't find a loving relationship because you are incapable of behaving in the correct manner. However, when you have the basics of life under your control -- i.e. not having to worry about survival -- then you'll find the world is full of available, single people.

    I used to think I was destined to be lonely, until time and time again I found myself in relationships. :hug: It's hard sometimes though. Stay hopeful everybody.
     
  9. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I agree. And just for the record. There are a lot of benefits to being single. For instance, I don't go through the copious amounts of toilet paper when I'm alone. God knows what girlfriends do in the bathroom :tongue: .
     
  10. star ocean

    star ocean Guest

    Nope. Perhaps you, I, and others in this thread are capable. But some people are just too fucked up and will never be able to experience real relationships. I'll probably be given a hard time for saying this, but it's the truth.
     
  11. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Until they change their behavior they won't. But it's possible. Hell, John Nash did and that guy has literally been crazy for 4/5ths of his life.
     
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i'd rather be loved properly than have a fucked up relationship yes. suppose when you've been in a fucked up relationship with so many people in your life you start to know nothing else but that.

    think it's pretty normal? for anyone to crave a loving relationship where they feel loved heard and cared for. my therapist saysi t's a basic human need, just like food and water, because when i start to deny that (because their love is not right for me or full of contradictions, unclear communication and playing) i start to hurt myself or harm myself.
     
  13. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    I agree. I belong in the too fucked up category.
     
  14. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    to those in the thread who believe they arent worthy of being loved then they arent opening themselves up to let someone love them. how can someone love you if you wont let them because you dont want them to be in your life..

    sorry if that sounds harsh but its just something to ponder on
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 17, 2009
  15. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    maybe because they love they've had is one of abuse? maybe because it's too much of a risk? maybe because they've been lied to? there are so many reasons people are afraid of love. you're letting yourself be vulnerable and so many people here are here precisely because they've been hurt at their most vulnerable by the people who might have promised love.

    maybe, because they don't feel like they are worth love because the people who have promised love haven't been consistent and have mind fucked them?

    maybe they are depressed and suicidal? maybe they are in their own hell where can't believe they are worth love because of what they've experienced and learnt?
     
  16. smk

    smk Well-Known Member

    no love is ok in my opinion, if you are just ok with the way you are. it's almost justifiable to be narcissistic, or else you really begin to feel inferior to other people. because you measure yourself in their standards, on what they are thinking of you.

    if you love what you are doing with your time, then you don't have to worry about such things...
     
  17. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest


    Well I can tell you that if I found someone, I would certainly open myself up to that love.
     
  18. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    Humans are social animals, it is in our instincts to form relationships.
     
  19. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    love is bullshit, lust is the only thing that is real, i no longer have balls so i dont lust anything i am dead , consider yourself lucky if you have balls and can still lust girls cuz that is the only thing that matters in this world

    love is bullshit i loved my dog i think, maybe kids love their parents and parents care about their kids but no 2 humans could really give a shit about each other

    there is no such thing as love we are just fucked up animals maybe you could care about something but deep down we are all selfish pricks who only care about ourselves
     
  20. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I disagree. Strongly.

    Wanting and feeling a desire for love isn't the same as being open to it. People need to have their partner be in a place where they can take care of them. If you're not in that spot, then it'll be hard to get into a meaningful relationship. There's absolutely no reason why anybody on this board is incapable of love. However, if you choose to enforce your fear that you'll be alone, then you most likely will.

    None of you are in such a spot that you are made permanently unlovable. And even if you're not in a spot to handle the pressure and stress of a romantic relationship, you still , even the most narcissistic depressed state, people will love and care for you. It'll be more sympathetic than romantic, but it's a form of love.

    :hug:

    The type of relationships you have is up to you 99% of the time. It's much harder to find that control if you're severely depressed, suffering from PTSD, or a mental condition like Schizophrenia, but not impossible. Most importantly, it's not permanent.
     
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