No Matter What I Try Not Coping

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by spidy, Mar 15, 2012.

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  1. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Think ive let this to get far everyday im worse.Cant sleep not eating only shower for appointments and very very suicidle Just cant bring myself to go to the hospital.Everything in my head just seems messed up again.Why the hell has this come bck harder thanever really CANT take much more of this.Cant even face the world tryed today yet i physically felt ill trying to fght emotions.Stuff this just want to crawl up in a corner and die dont think this existence was for me.The cruel joke life played.
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    What thoughts do you have when you go out Gav, and when you try to sleep?
     
  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    When trying too sleep my head is just racing with all negative thngs all me worries cant stop it just cant wind down.When i go out i feel unsafe i need to get back home
     
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Have you tried putting a pad of paper and pencil by your bed, and when you go to bed write them down to get them out of your mind? It helps me.
    Do you have Social Anxiety - it sounds like you may. Gillian Butler's book 'Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness' is excellent, I recommend it.
     
  5. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    yep tryed the writing thing get me going worse to be honest as with me anxiety its wose than ive ever had.I m just over it all ppl tht know me just treat me as a piece off shit seems i m just thier own punching bag as so they feel better.Abuse ignorance yay sick of it and im not going to keep feeeling like a piece of crap i just wont be around then they can piss on my grave
     
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Do they know how you feel Gav, and that it is them that makes you feel this way?
     
  7. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Yep certain ppl do out to make my life hell prob is whre do i turn too ive got nobody think these ppl like too see me going thrgh hell they not all of it thgh lots of crap rght now its all draining me
     
  8. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Have you had any counselling or anything to help you try to deal with your rogue thoughts?
     
  9. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Yeah there today think they want me go spend sometime in hosp i dont wat too go
     
  10. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I can understand that. I have never been myself and so cannot comment on that, but perhaps it might be good for you?
     
  11. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Nope not going to hosp i refuse to dosnt help get drugged up real world still on outside when ya get out cant go bck there hate it
     
  12. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi spidy - I do understand cruel jokes, been there....... You want things to be better, that is a positive. Wanting things to be better is a good place to be. Things can change, I know that. From the blackest pit. First thing is to find a ladder, the next is to find the first rung. Talking from experience of my pit and looking back on it, that's what I needed. Like someone blind, groping to find a ladder and then hoping there would be someone to help me do that first step......
    :grouphug: (note to Admin - could we please hve an icon of this perhaps?)
     
  13. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    God if ya there let me fcking SLEEP PLEASE or im going to have to do it the unethical way Ive had enough Im tired my head is all screwed up i have fcking no friends etc what fcking more would ya like to throw at me i swear im not living this shit ive been a good fcking person yet im being dragged down well guess one thing left hey what ya pushing me to do mght make a few ppl happy as well no point living just for the shit and trying to cope day by day hour by hour.Not a life being like this fck it note done plan in place.
     
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