I am pretty much broke. I got laid off from my job in nebraska. I drove to southern texas for work. I cant afford an apartment with the stupid unpaid trainis ang that my company is forcing me to do (damn union agreements!). Starting to max out the credit cards, and about to give back my house to the bank. I am tired of sleeping in my truck and just told the bank to put a 30day hold on payments on it too. All I can think about is just checking out of this damn world. Been looking at ways of doing it as peacefully as I can. I am actually scared of a violent death. I just want to sleep and never wake up. I have no hope because of other legal issues with my house. Parents hired an attorney to try to help me with that, but I cant afford the payments either. I have at least 5 more days of unpaid "training" before I can start to get a paycheck rolling, but I wont actually get paid for like 3-4 weeks! How can I live on a few $1 sandwitches a day from mcdonalds. I am hungry all the time too. Tried to find an apartment, but really not sure if I can afford it. Suicide really seems to be the only option! Where the hell is the leaver that I can pull that says "pull here to end the pain!" Seriously, I am ready to go, check out.. "im outta here!"..... Parents are afraid that I am going to do just that. I hear it in their voices everytime I talk to them (daily) on phone. But I honestly just dont see my life changing. I dont want to spend the next 20-30 years as a grumpy, lonely, and eventually bitter on life, kind of guy with no family, kids, etc. I am tired all the time, physically and emotionally! I actually pray that god hits me with lightning or something, and have a fast death!