No more. Done.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Jul 3, 2011.

  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    I dont understand, i dont get it. I dont belong here, i do not> how can i be in chat, and im alone, i figure ill try to brave it out into a room with some PEOPLE in it, i know, stupid choice. There is stupid fucking person in there saying how suicide is selfish and how people who do it are selfish, god, i should have left then. I make my faint protest, and im trying to chill, im told that its selfish and that they only want to help people who can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but isnt that why we are all here, to try to find that damn light??? apparently not, just another reason i dont fucking belong!!!! Im bombarded with shit, complete and utter shit, i feel like someone came into my room, and threw me up against a wall, again and again. Im crying, and i cannot stop. Im trying to get out of this damn fucking low, and see where i fucking get.... it just gets worse and worse. i want to end it, but dont even have the fucking guts, maybe if i can take some pills to relax myself ill be able to do it. I dont know what else to do. im alone on here, ive finally figured that one out, guess it took me long enough, now didnt it :{ i hate it, why dont they delete my account, what do i have to do, get banned? How do i do that then? i want out, i want gone, i want it gone, nobody needs to even have the chance to see it and wonder who i was, i dont deserve even that, i dont deserve it at all. I just want it all gone, dont deserve anything goddamnit. I dont care anymore, fuck quitting cutting and frostbiting, i dont give a fucking shit, and if they see who cares, let them send me away, i dont belong here, ill just be sent to another hellhole anyway, im done, let them do what they want, hopefully eventually i get it to the point to where i can be done with it all. Ill find a method, one that suits how im feeling, guess id better figure out a damn note... fuck.
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    do you want to take this to pm? x
  3. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Friend and Antiquities Friend Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thorn :hug:

    You do belong. You are important. You are precious.

    I hear the pain you are in. I understand it. But please give life another chance.

    You need help to find your way through the pain. Is there someone you can call? Or maybe someone home with you?

    I hope you can reach out to someone in real life. I know this is very hard.

    Just don't give up. People do care about you.

  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    don't let one persons beliefs do you in Thorn..

    maybe stay here on the forum and out of chat for a while

    you have as much right to be here, and to say how you feel without being judged, as anyone else does

    I'm with you = we are here to help each other find that light at the end of the tunnel :console:
  5. foolnomore

    foolnomore Well-Known Member

    Don't leave just because one person was insensitive. Some people really think like that simply because they do not understand our pain or mind set at the time we feel suicidal. Other people do understand and will offer support when we just want to gone ,for it all to be over they will show some understanding while trying to keep you safe .Stay and reach out to those people.
  6. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    hey thorn, i feel the same way about chat most of the time. i like to stay in the forum because i dont no most of the people in the chat room.

    i'll try and reply to ur pm in a sec, today has been a bit all over the place for me.
  7. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    Chat used to help me, but i only feel attacked anymore... its getting harder and harder to talk to people, i dont feel like im speaking the same language as everyone else....
  8. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    You belong here, and we all care about you. If you see how many ppl here already posted to this thread u know at least even a few do care. And I wish I could make your pain go away. I really do.

    Things will change and get better.. it just takes time and the hardest part is getting thru when it seems to take forever. But there is a brighter side. :)

    Hold on thorn, as best you can! :hug: