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No more Mr. nice guy

Discussion in 'Domestic Abuse' started by the_me_that_you_know, Jul 2, 2007.

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  1. OK..... my mother by adoption is a strong woman, mentally I mean. She is used to gettin her way & not letting up untill things are the way she wants them. Lately, however, her mentally-challenged son has been violent toward her when nooone is around to stop him. She will not fight back because of his mental disability & the fact that he is her "baby". I can only think of one course of action, beatin the livin light out of this retard. The only reason this has not been done yet is because of her. She does not want it so. I would like to put him in the hospital. He could stand a good beating, he weighs more than me, the fat retarded fuck is incapable of reasoning! He wants what he wants when he wants it & NOW. Holy fuckin shit is he askin for it bigtime. It's currently 6:30 in the morning & I must try to speak with her before I rip his guts out & string them up as decor for the 4th. There really seems to be no other course of action I can take in this matter...I will not let this continue & she will not stop him by herself(she stands both verbal & physical abuse from him I have only now been told of). She will not see him in the institution where I believe he belongs for all he's doin/done... the simple matter of callin the police on him. This is a pathetic situation. Now it seems to be all up to me to fix things.
  2. rd9671

    rd9671 Guest

    You don't have to wait for her to call the police, you can do it yourself if you witness what is going on in anyway. The police are obligated to take him into custody if he is a danger to anyone else or himself.
    It sounds as tho your Mom may feel resposible for your brothers' condition and that is a hard thing to overcome. Try to be alittle understanding of her and try to come up with a solution. Is he in daycare or anything? That might help if he had another outlet and some social interaction.
    And pleasse don't hit or hurt your brother, he does not deserve that even if he is acting out. His brain is damaged and he doesn't necessarily have control. I understand that it can be frustrating but it just wouldn't be right.
    Take care of yourself and you can vent to me anytime you like.
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Um...I'm pretty sure beating up retarded people isn't the answer to this problem. As a matter of fact, I would venture to say that beating up retarded people is almost NEVER the solution to ANY problem.
  4. Oh, I'm callin him a retard because he acts so much like one. He does not let on, but he knows better. He's been institutionalized by his father before. The institution saw his atitude toward his mother during visits and quickly put a stop- to all visits between them. I could call any proffessional I wanted to but she would defend him because she's scared of losing him again. And then there's his atitude toward me-nothin physical-it's unhealthy. Trust me.... he's gonna get himself hurt badly by strangers(he's like a racist) if we don't protect him at all times. He either does not care about us & the way things are, or is so truly challenged that noone but proffessionals can take proper care of him. He only gets worse, never better. So I'm angry that this situation has been suddenly dropped into my lap. It was not always this way....so I started thinkin about "tough love" so to speak. If he will act out toward his own mother think about what he might start with anyone he decides to, anytime in the future. If there are no consequences now....he will never expect them in life. Shit I take it back. This situation isn't pathetic. It's pretty bad. Ever seen pros deal with bad situations? They drag you to the quiet room and use the 6-point straps. If you stuggle-he will-they are not exactly gentle with you. That is what I want to prevent. I'd never put him in the hospital from injury though, unless he does that to her. Obviously he no longer respects her.... so why should I respect him in any way? Btw, she needs proffessional help for not reacting at all to this situation except to burden me with the load. So I call in people then it's them(mother & son) against me....that's how it feels.
  5. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    What does your Mom have to say about all this?
  6. ybt

    ybt Guest

    beating up a mentally challenged person. nice one.
  7. Well she's letting herself be runover, which she normally never does. She does not want me to fight him back under any circumstance. Just today the little jerk went nuts and started throwing things at me & mother would only scream at him to stop. this went on for like an hour. She says that the cops are gonna show up one day & she wouldn't stop them from taking him to an insitution. But the after effect of his actions only make her cry. All she does is keep warning him about being taken away & he won't listen, believing that it's not true. I wish it had already happened. I told him I was going to call somebody on him today during his violent episode. Mother just told me not to. Something is wrong with both of them! And I thought I was crazy, they totally blow me out of the water. So all mother says about all this is 'maybe he'll get better'. She's in denial.
  8. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    That sounds pretty bad. Have any of you spoken to a professional about this? What exactly is wrong with him, medically speaking?
  9. He has had a heart operation & now has to take a heart medicine.
    He had scoliosis and had an operation.
    But the real reason is he is missing a chromazone in his brain.
  10. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    If things do get out of hand then call the police. Also the guy needs professional help...like anger management or something. Beating him up won't solve anything, actually it will only just complicate things.
  11. It was only a thought, and I was driven to it by him. He's 21 and shows violence toward a 52 year old woman who is his own mother. He says stuff to her like "I wanna kill you" and he could actually do that. He grabs knives and throws them when he's angry.. Don't even try to make me look like the bad guy here! He throws things at me too & the day he hurts me physically He's gonna get a taste of his own medicine. I have no repect for anybody who hurts women or people weaker than themselves.
  12. anonymous51

    anonymous51 Staff Alumni

    well i dont condone violence towards any person, but i believe you have a right to call the police. Just because he has mental problems it doesnt mean hes not a human being just like the rest of us. And as a human being he has obligation to become a law-abiding member of society, ive met lots of people with downs syndronme etc that have been very friendly and pretty much normal. Just because your different you shouldnt be treated like some sort of time-bomb that you have to pamper and spoil or it will blow.
  13. I've talked to proffessionals & they tought all their patients that there is a rule:
    No one has to put up w/ a person that has a bad or troublesome to others attitude. No one should be exposed to hatred or harm from someone else. The person who has or is causing the trouble has to change. Nobody was put on this earth to put up it.
    He was locked up for months but this lesson was never tought to him or it didn't stick or he just likes the way he is & does not want to be better.
    So his mother is constantly speaking of putting him in a home for the challenged, but if he goes on like this at a home he may face a worse punishment than I could ever dish out.
  14. If your brother isn't mentally retarded (to use the old word), then he's definitely mentally ill. Either way, it sounds like you may have to come to terms with the fact that your mother, in her misguided attempts to 'protect' him, is doing more harm than good. And that you may have to be the one, the next time he gets violently out of hand, to call the police. If you do, though, be sure to tell them that he's previously been institutionalized and it's a mental matter. This is very important. Good luck with it all.
  15. Right. I know. It's genetic and I feel sorry for him that he has no control. I've been told that his father's great uncle was some kind of evil person who had the power to have people killed and used it. I've never been so happy to come from a long line of drug addicts. So I just keep hoping things will never come to the boiling point. My life is hell & I can only wonder what I did to deserve all this. There's a saying: nice guys finish last, & ignorance is bliss is another.... so I'm cursed because of my iq and good natured-actions?
    My thoughts may have been corrupted by the way my life is/was but I have complete control of my actions somehow. Don't worry about anything..... I really should never have posted in this instance, I don't know what's wrong with me, except for the fact that I was tought to act well by being beaten if I did not when I was little. I'm guessing that's where this all came from. I know that I would have payed dearly if I had acted like him when I was little. He is only little in his mind/mother's eyes. When he was institutionalized it took like 4 guys to drag him away during his fit of rage because of whatever.
    See, he's been spoiled by his mother his whole life so now he gets angry whenever he doesn't get what he wants. Too angry. I would have been beaten to death for what he gets away with. Because I've always been bright. He's been there the whole time, he knows that the smarter you are the more difficult things can become. He's not a drooling idiot. I know that he understands alot more than he wants people to know. I know it because of his father. He acts different around his father because he knows his father will retaliate in the way his mother will not. In other words he knows he can get away with shit while his mother is around, and that's the trouble. I cannot let him believe that he can get away with things around me. That's no good. I'm not weak like I think he believes that I am. I've been too nice to him his entire life and he thinks he can run over nice people by being mean to them. I don't know where he got that idea, but I am angry about it. Maybe because I was raised much differently. I had to be nice all the time or suffer the consequence tenfold when I was little. This is hell on me. His atitude & my mentality don't mix.
  16. thething912

    thething912 Well-Known Member

    Call the polie on the fool.
  17. xashleyTX

    xashleyTX Guest

    Call the police. You shouldn't have to put up with that shit.
  18. Thanx for the suggestions but he is too far gone to be helped. I live w/ him, have been most of my life. He plays everyone for fools, even me! His tendency toward violence is out of control. If his mother hadn't been sheltering him his entire life he would have learned some lessons about life by now....the hard way. His atitude is like this:
    Scenario #1
    He gets out of control. I call the cops. Cops eneter his place, he starts screaming threats at them like he does to everyone. Cops try to grab him. He tries to grab a kitchen knife(he does that to neigbors). Cops shoot him dead.
    Scenario #2
    I call the men in white. They come w/ a straitjacket. He fights them w/ any weapon that he sees first/any object that can be used as a weapon. People get hurt....possibly fatally. Even if they take him away successfully he faces the possibility of electric shock therapy.

    He's been to a mental ward where they strapped him down constantly for his severe violent tendencies. It only made him HATE everyone even more than ever....he didn't learn shit.

    He's a fucking Time-Bomb..... without a warning label..... he blasts the song Last Resort everyday(recent developement) hoping that I'll kill myself. But as evil as he seems to act.... his mother does nothing. He's not retarded. Deep in his mind there is an agenda of some sort. God damn, lately he said he would stab me in my sleep, all because I don't let him get away w/ murder like his mother does. He hates me, & his right to is defended by his mother. Because she is weak-minded when it comes to her "little baby".

    Now, no more mr. nice guy means I have to go to my psychologist & tell him everything. They'll take me to a hospital of some sort because I'm going insane........ and all hell will break loose when they get around to dealing w/ him & his mother, who'll blame me for ruining her pathetic fucking life. She is blind...... the denial is so thick I'm choking to death on it.
  19. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    First off you DO NOT, AND SHOULD NOT, have to put up with this, nor should your mother. I have Asperger's Syndrome, which I suppose is classed as a "mental development disability" in the mental health circles, BUT I know right from wrong, everybody to a certain extent knows right from wrong. People are too quick to scream "DISCRIMINATION" when it comes to the disapline of people like this, but to go "aww he's disabled, he can't help it" is just as much a discriminatory act in my eyes. I was sent to a supported housing scheme when I left home where the ethos was " you can do anything, even criminal acts, and because your "disabled" you'll get off with it", and that's just what they did. You should call the police next time he has an outburst, I'm sure him in an institution is far better than him being murdered by a stranger, or seriously hurting your mom, both of these to me sound like real dangers. You would not think before calling the police on anyone else who was being violent, weilding weapons or commiting assaults, I'm also sure that when he is taken away, the serverity of the danger should be explained to your mom by the doctors, if it's not, you should ask that they do this, that they explain to your mom just how much of a danger he is to people, and no matter who you are, what disability you have, the law on violent behavour is there to protect the victims and punish the perpatraitor, so please make use of it, for all your sakes. You don't want to land up beating him up and getting into trouble yourself, he's not worth it. It is a serious criminal offence to threaten to kill someone, regardless of mental ability, and the police have a duty to follow this up too, threatening to stab you in your sleep is pretty sick, and the cops should act on this threat alone, and as he has a record, a long one by the sound of it and you should feel safer in the knowledge of this, that his behavour towards mom has been noticed and documented by doctors before, they probably would not hesitate to take him away. Your mom deep down will be feeling just as bad as you, she is afraid to let go of him, but deep inside she would be releived that he was out of the house and the abuse stopped, it might take her a while, but she will come round. Your not the insane one here, and if you CAREFULLY explain the situation to your psych in a calm manner, he might know ways and means your brother can be removed from the house and sectioned, I don't know which country your in, but here in the UK if 2 doctors agree your a danger to yourself or others, they can detain you against yours or anyone elses will in a hospital.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 31, 2007
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