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No More Sun

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Eleventyone, Sep 10, 2012.

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  1. Eleventyone

    Eleventyone Member

    I've had suicidal thoughts for a very long time now, but they have been getting worse over the past week. Ever since I started overnight shifts, they've been at an all time high (or low?). It's the skin crawling sort of depression again. I feel like my whole life was a waste...everyone was counting on me to be successful, but I failed miserably. I just feel so cold inside...it hurts. The only thing that keeps me from going through with it is the fear that it would be very painful and might not work.
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Why do you care what everyone else was counting on you for? Are you here to fulfill the requirements of other people? Why not be happy and successful in your own way for your self? Why give up and not try? Perhaps you should seek a job with a different shift hours? Perhaps that would be more fruitful than dying.
  3. ryan2012

    ryan2012 Member

    Being a success in this society isn't easy, and those that do make it to the top aren't as happy as you might think.
    Be the best you can be. You've got a job which is more than I have, look for a job with a better shift pattern or ask the boss at your current job if you can change shifts.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi 111 - it's a tremendous opportunity you have to ask yourself why you're so concerned about what other people think..... "Why am I leaving my worth and value in other peoples' hands?" Is a good empowering question....

    I know when I do this (dwell on my failures) - my life feels like a complete waste too - but I've come to accept that these feelings are only invitations to find greater insight. And the truth is, that generally speaking, other people are too preoccupied with their own stuff to really have anything of value to give to anyone else, so it's actually a waste of your own resources to expect things to be different, (like how we imagine an ideal life and its situations would be). Life shouldn't be run along the lines of TV soaps - real life happens by us learning how to take control of our thought life, the good and the bad, and using both to mine wisdom that sustains us in life's trials and testings. :)

    Because they will still be encountered, no one gets to be immune.
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