Yesterday the cancer doc and the loneliness of each visit. Then my other doc to find out the grime news and now more tests. Today my son is missing. No fucking more!!! I've been standing on the edge even dangling my foot on the ocassional day. Please I'm begging no more no more no more no more no more no more!!!!!! Tonight after the little one is asleep, my time. To find some relief from it all. I want to be safe to hear about my son but I cant even think about promising myself or anyone else that I can be. I'm so used up!!!!!!!