no more

[starryeyed]

I cant take anymore.no one speaks to me.no one.i go days without hving a conversation.i want to end it.i see people looking staring at me .like um a freak.
My father completely ignores me.im really sick and.i just lie in bed alone.no one comes near me.i have to get up to eat cos no one brings me food.if I died right now no one would notice.id rot away for days.i havent got one friend.np one could live through this

 

[starryeyed]

Im at breaking point

 

[Marathon-Running-Bunny]

I cant take anymore.no one speaks to me.no one.i go days without hving a conversation.i want to end it.i see people looking staring at me .like um a freak.
My father completely ignores me.im really sick and.i just lie in bed alone.no one comes near me.i have to get up to eat cos no one brings me food.if I died right now no one would notice.id rot away for days.i havent got one friend.np one could live through this

I saw your post and i am listening to you right now.. You can try the samaritans in your area (call them) and talk to someone real.. Of course, this forum would be better and the chat room is just a mouse click away.. All the best to you and take care.. we care for you.. :hug:

 

[starryeyed]

Thanks.i rang the samaritans before and they just stayed on the line saying nothing.i told themi was goin taking an od and they ignored me.said nothing.same as anyone elsr.that person.that night had no right to be on the line.i was closer to killmyself over them.

 

[Marathon-Running-Bunny]

Thanks.i rang the samaritans before and they just stayed on the line saying nothing.i told themi was goin taking an od and they ignored me.said nothing.same as anyone elsr.that person.that night had no right to be on the line.i was closer to killmyself over them.

able to go to chat room..? There are 21 people inside the chat room now.. You take care :hug:
Some samaritans really are hopeless and i don't know what training they have undergone..

 

[ali 56]

the crisis line is better than the samaritans, I never found the samaritans that good and have phoned the crisis number twice. give them a go and don't give up - kind regards Ali

 

[starryeyed]

Thanks im in Ireland.dont think we have crisis line.cant go into chat.im ony phone .im in bed dont feel well.

 

[starryeyed]

Im not allowed speak in the house.my mother screams at me.
I cant take anymore

 

[Kaganovich]

Starry, I don't know all of your circumstances or situation, but you seem to have very direct issues, something you can improve and build on. If your family is the problem or are not helping move away, look elsewhere. Don't lie in bed waiting to be fed or for help. Seek out other opportunities and people who you feel mutual appreciation with/for.
It's surprising how much of a change you can make if you try! You know your problems and telling them to the samaritans probably won't help. Use the chatroom here for people eho have been in a similar situation, but above all if there's a way to improve things it lies within you and you can find it! I've been in situations where I struggled to find a reason for anything and it was only by realising I had my own ideas and value that I was able to move on, and making a big change in your life isn't actually that hard when you already feel like you have nothing to lose, it can be liberating.

 

[starryeyed]

Im seriously ill.theres no way I could move the way I am.imnot waiting to be fed.im sick.
I asked my sister to get my prescrption for me and she just came up screamingdrunk at me saying she should have left me rot.that she was sorry she did anything for ne.im vwry upset now.

 

[starryeyed]

I dont know what you mean by lying in bed waiting.im in bed because im chronically ill.im.not lying here for the fun of it

 

[Sapphire]

What kind of illness do you have then?

 

[starryeyed]

I dont see why I have to justify my sickness but I sent pm

 

[Savsta]

Sorry to hear how low you are feeling , and how mistreated you are by your family , is there nobody else you can turn too ? Friend ? Relative ? If your seriously Ill why not go to the hospital ? It might give you the freedom you seem to so desperatly need. I hope you get better soon. And I'm here if you want to chat.

 

[starryeyed]

Theres nothing they can do in hospital for me.beds are so scarce here they only bring u in when u have heart attack or something.i was left out before when I was very sick.
My sister is abusive drunk as is mybrother.i only asked her to get mymeds cos I wasnt able.she screamed tirade abuse at me and.i said nothing to her.when I tried to speak myp parents said they would kick me out.
I have no friends.they walk past me on the street and cut me dead.thats everyone I know.i have nothing to deserve this.my life is hell

 

[Savsta]

Again I'm sorry that your family treat you this way I wish I could help you more , the hospital would keep you In if you told them how you were feeling (like you want to end it) they have to they have a duty of care to make sure your safe. I realise your future might look dark at the moment but I promise it can get better. Stay strong

 

[starryeyed]

You mean the psych ward.if I go in there again they will make me take meds against my will.iput on seven stone from them.
My mother says I am the one abusing them.im the one locked in my room every day suicidl.
She makes threaths at me violent ones.i went to the police before and they abued me tooi dont think ill last through the wekend

 

[starryeyed]

My sister bbought me crazy expensive easter stuff.but no apogy.i dont want gifts.i want not to be abused.its typical abuse patterny father hasnt spoke word to me in weeks.completely ignoring me.never once asked how I wad

 

[Savsta]

the gifts are probably just her way of saying sorry , i know its not what you want but its a start ? , have you tried to talk to your family about how you feel and how they are treating you ? maybe they would understand and treat you a little better if you did ? just a thought. there are other places you can go other then hospitals to get away , i dont know how old you are if your young then there are youth hostels that will look after you if your older i believe there are adult ones set up all over the place. it would get you away from everything and let you think some things over. ending it isnt the answer, i for one really hope you dont. i wont try and talk you out of anything i suffer too and i know that doesnt help , but just know that there are people here like you with similar problems , that will listen to you when your down and give as much support as possible.

 

[starryeyed]

We dont have hostels here.its homelesd shelter is my option.my family dont care.i think ineed meds.not for illnss but to block out reality.no one gives damn bout me.