No more

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cortez, Apr 1, 2012.

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  1. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I failed in every aspect of life. Everywhere I turn to I get thrown out of, everyone I turn to ends up leaving me. My anger is so much and so detailed that I can't even post about it here without getting an infraction, I am likely soon going to be banned from here. I failed at being a human, a social human, I am isolated and no one wants to be my friend, the constant rejection and humiliation from women reinforces my urge to kill myself, it has destroyed me from the inside out. I honestly have such a deep hatred for women that it is unbearable to not go one day without thinking evil thoughts. I know what I want to do is not likely to happen, so the only thing that I can do is off myself, that is possible.

    It wouldn't matter where I went to, the feelings on the inside will always be the same because the damage has been done. I am different, very different, I am a weirdo, an outcast, a loner, a loser, an ugly person, a stupid, person, an evil person, a pathetic piece of shit.

    With all that being said, I don't want to be here anymore. I don't even own a car so getting to the bridge to jump off without no one realizing it would be hard. I don't own a gun. I could get some rope... but I'd have to pick a good spot where I could hang myself, my brain right now is half functioning and half frozen so I can't really think clearly.
     
  2. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I don't want to talk about the reasons at all at this point. I am just trying to find an exact sold method.
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    SF is pro-life. Always has been, always will be. We're a support site, not a place to talk about methods.

    I hope you'll seriously consider seeking some professional help. I know loneliness is a huge part of what's bothering you. And a major factor in your being so lonely is the fact that you hate women. This is something that needs to be talked out with a professional, who can give you constructive ideas on managing your anger. You need to work toward controlling the anger, and stop letting anger control you.
     
  4. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    Yes I do hate women but that is not what makes me lonely, women have nothing to do with me being friendless and isolated, that is a totally separate issue. I just hate people in general. I want to kill myself to break free from this, what I couldn't do to other people I will just take care of by killing myself.

    I am already seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and I'm on meds. Nothing changes all the trauma I went through, the daily torments that I feel, the indifference that I feel towards everyone else, the urges I feel. This issues are very broad.
     
  5. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I'm so scared of fuckin it up though. I wouldn't want to survive and live the rest of my life disabled or with permanent damage, it really needs to kill me whatever I decide.
     
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