Every time I try to talk to anyone about how I feel, they blow me off. "Oh Samm, suck it up." I try to be so perfect, I try to hide it all. I keep it all in. My whole family doesn't care, and neither do any of my "friends". I tried time and time again to talk to my mom about how I feel, but she just says I'm trying to get attention; even though I have history with hurting myself. Grew up getting beat for nothing by a drugged up dad. (Everyone wants to defend him, cause he didnt know what he was doing while high on coke and heroin) Got raped and molested by a family member (I've never told anyone because they wont believe me). I get put last for everything. My mom already has her perfect little family, already has a daughter and son. She never wanted me. After my birth dad not being in my life for over 10 years, he out of nowhere comes and lives with us. No one asked me how I felt about that. My mom is getting remarried to a guy in prison who killed to people.. her happiness depends on him. My brother treats me like trash, calls me whore and slut everyday. He is addicted to drugs and my mom fully supports his habit. I had to leave my old highschool because my brother, he use to go there and was in a gang and all this so when everyone figured out I was related to him they came after me. When I tried to talk to my mom about it, she said suck it up. I finally convinced her to move two hours away from there, saying she'll be closer to the prison her fiance is in. Everything was good for the first week. It was just me and her, no fighting, no yelling. It was good. Till my brother called and ruined everything. When ever there are other people around she puts me last. I was always the one who did everything around the house, I would keep it clean. My room is ALWAYS clean. I try to stay out of every ones way. I homeschool myself, I have a GPA of 4.5 I make money online making websites for people and use it to pay my tuition for the school programs I use. I don't ask for anything from anyone. But when I need something like ink for my printer, or food; I get yelled at about how we dont have the money BLAH BLAH! We would have the money if my mom didnt support my brothers drug habit, and bring him everywhere i wants to go and if he learn to say no to him. my birth dad is a professional painter, so he VOLUNTEERED to paint my room, then he is like "I painted your room, pay me" hmm no? the little money i have, vanishes cause they all take my money, if they didnt i wouldnt need to ask for ANYTHING. They always find something to blame on me, i'm always getting yelled at, made fun of..by the people who are 'suppose to love me' .. my mom went through my phone and found a text about me wanting to kill myself, she see me and says "make sure to cut deep, long way not side to side" yeah she would know, seeing as she trys to kill herself every year, on my birthday.. fmylife.