No one bothers to help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Samm, Mar 24, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Samm

    Samm Member

    Every time I try to talk to anyone about how I feel, they blow me off. "Oh Samm, suck it up." I try to be so perfect, I try to hide it all. I keep it all in.
    My whole family doesn't care, and neither do any of my "friends".
    I tried time and time again to talk to my mom about how I feel, but she just says I'm trying to get attention; even though I have history with hurting myself.

    Grew up getting beat for nothing by a drugged up dad. (Everyone wants to defend him, cause he didnt know what he was doing while high on coke and heroin)
    Got raped and molested by a family member (I've never told anyone because they wont believe me).
    I get put last for everything. My mom already has her perfect little family, already has a daughter and son. She never wanted me.

    After my birth dad not being in my life for over 10 years, he out of nowhere comes and lives with us. No one asked me how I felt about that.
    My mom is getting remarried to a guy in prison who killed to people.. her happiness depends on him.

    My brother treats me like trash, calls me whore and slut everyday. He is addicted to drugs and my mom fully supports his habit.

    I had to leave my old highschool because my brother, he use to go there and was in a gang and all this so when everyone figured out I was related to him they came after me. When I tried to talk to my mom about it, she said suck it up.

    I finally convinced her to move two hours away from there, saying she'll be closer to the prison her fiance is in. Everything was good for the first week. It was just me and her, no fighting, no yelling. It was good. Till my brother called and ruined everything.
    When ever there are other people around she puts me last.

    I was always the one who did everything around the house, I would keep it clean. My room is ALWAYS clean. I try to stay out of every ones way. I homeschool myself, I have a GPA of 4.5 I make money online making websites for people and use it to pay my tuition for the school programs I use. I don't ask for anything from anyone. But when I need something like ink for my printer, or food; I get yelled at about how we dont have the money BLAH BLAH! We would have the money if my mom didnt support my brothers drug habit, and bring him everywhere i wants to go and if he learn to say no to him. my birth dad is a professional painter, so he VOLUNTEERED to paint my room, then he is like "I painted your room, pay me" hmm no?
    the little money i have, vanishes cause they all take my money, if they didnt i wouldnt need to ask for ANYTHING.

    They always find something to blame on me, i'm always getting yelled at, made fun the people who are 'suppose to love me' ..

    my mom went through my phone and found a text about me wanting to kill myself, she see me and says "make sure to cut deep, long way not side to side" yeah she would know, seeing as she trys to kill herself every year, on my birthday.. fmylife.
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Wow. :( That's really terrible.

    How old are you? I would consider moving away from your family if they do that stuff to you.
  3. Samm

    Samm Member

    I'm seventeen.
    I tried moving away, my family was all for it. That is until my mom realized she wouldn't get money from the government for taking care of me.

    I was suppose to run away to Cali. with my best friend Matt. He is the only person that really shows he cares. He is the only person that actually takes care of me.

    But now he isn't sure if he wants to go.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Samm,
    Your old enough to become an emancipated child.. Go down to social services and they can explain to you how to go about it..There is nothing your mother can do about it..I think the only requirement is you have to be working..At least then you can move out legally..
  5. Samm

    Samm Member

    I've looked into becoming emancipated.
    Their are a lot of requirements, but the main being to show you are stable on your own.
    The time it would take to go through everything, I would be eighteen.

    I might as well just go hang myself, that will only take five minutes and my "family" probably will not notice till about a week later.
  6. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    no sam..

    Some just gave you one option that you could look at
    im sure there are other people who know other options

    don't give up

  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sad to hear that you must deal with this sort of thing. It probably hurts as well as challenges your sense of fairness.

    Other than moving out, the only things I could think of were to open your own personal bank account that no one else can access and deposit all your money there for paying for your own expenses. I don't understand why your father would offer to paint your room and then charge you for it - that's not nice or fair. If he and other people are going to be like that, maybe you could ask for their offers/promises in writing?

    If you are paying your mother rent or to live under her roof, you can't do much about what she does with that money. If she is just asking you for money because you have it and she doesn't, and then she gives it your brother for his drug habit, maybe don't give money to her. If she says she needs it buy XYZ, GO WITH HER to get XYZ and pay for it on the spot. That way you know where the money is going.

    I'm sorry I'm not much help. If it gets really bad, perhaps there's a community assistance group that could give you some additional direction.


  8. Samm

    Samm Member

    I had my own bank account, no one knew about. I had a old teacher sign saying she was my mom so that I could open it. But then my mom found out about it and took all the money out..

    I can not open a account without a guardian :/

    I don't pay her anything like rent, I'm seventeen to actually CHARGE a minor of your own to live under your roof is against the law. So instead she searches my room to find my money..

    Whatever, I'm just gunna go more to California and live with some guy.
  9. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    aah that stinks
    do you have to be over 18 to open a account?

    I dont know how it works in your country
  10. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    you have something more than me, atleast you have the will to try to be perfect, i have lost all hope, and life is a chore and daily castration. you can be saved, i can't. you can go on and become the next bug thing, I'm just some nobody
  11. Samm

    Samm Member

    You have to be at least eighteen.

    And the only thing that keeps me going is knowing I only have nine more months of this and I can leave legally. Knowing that one day I will truly be happy with who I am. Knowing, one day they'll all come begging for my help with one thing or another; and I'll probably just laugh. :]

    But that still doesn't stop me from hurting myself and when it really hurts, trying to kill myself. :sad:
  12. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    oh oh sam :hug:

    do not give up
  13. Shifter

    Shifter Well-Known Member

    don't give up.....i know you can make something of yourself, i cannot but im sure you can
  14. Beautiful Disaster

    Beautiful Disaster Forum Buddy SF Supporter

    yes you can, you both can

    i think you can find great support in eachother to be honest
  15. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    that story sent shivers down my spine. Ive rarely heard anyone tell a story like that (especially what your mum said when she saw your text). I feel SO sorry for you and am amazed you are still alive, I wouldnt have lasted so long. I respect you so much for managing to continue. Hold on, and wait the 9 months and then you can independantly take on the world, and go live in Cali
    However terrible things seem, however badly people treat you, you will have the last laugh, and you will be stronger because of whats happened to you. You should be an inspiration to loadsa people, how your trying to home school yourself despite how bleak things are. Try and hold on, PM me if you need to talk and good luck to you!
  16. Samm

    Samm Member

    Shifter;; all you need in ONE thing. One thing to hold onto, to make it.
    Just find that one thing you love more then anything, or something you have always wanted to do. And hold on to it!

    Everyone on this forum knows how bad it hurts. And for whatever reason, we are all still here. We are all still on this trying to help each other.

    Of course it hurts, and we think we can't take it any long. Oh how many times I've taken pills praying to not wake the next morning. But for some reason I haven't killed myself yet..

    I know deep down, for myself I will be happy one day. And I'm holding onto that till I can't anymore :blink:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.