I know nobody understands... I don't fully understand myself. But no matter what, I just CANNOT stop loving him. Everyone only sees how hurt I am right now, so they think he is a bad guy, or that he isn't good enough for me. But nobody knows how AMAZING he is, how happy he makes me feel. Nobody understands how much HE is hurting, how scared he is! He is running from me because he is afraid. BUT at the same time, he IS hurting me... I am SO close to being 100% completely destroyed! I am wrecked! I just know that he is my soulmate, and that we are meant to be together. BUT if he can't get past his fears, it will fuck up our destiny! And if he runs again... I won't be able to handle the pain, and will have to give up on my destiny, and accept that I will be alone forever! Now I just have to decide how LONG that forever will be... and at the moment, I don't think it will be very long! I am SO tired of all this pain... and he is my only cure!