No-one cares about me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Uulanda, Mar 31, 2010.

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  1. Uulanda

    Uulanda Active Member

    Simple enough. Just read the title.

    Not one person in my life cares about me. My girlfriend who I spend all of the time comforting and trying to help always lies to me. I know this because I later ask her if she was telling the truth about something I had asked her, she would tell me no. And yet, I still love her and I stand by her. She's had a rough time mentally for the past few weeks/months and I've tried to help her but she doesn't care. She makes me feel guilty whenever she can and doesn't listen to a word I say, yet if I mis-hear her once she will stop talking to me for hours (true story). She has a form of "mild depression" (according to her doctor) which I can obviously relate with, but she always goes on about it trying to make me feel bad. All the while I suffer from "Severe Clinical Depression" which has caused me to almost kill myself several times, OCD, Self Harming, mild Psychosis and a host of other problems (not trying to make anyone feel bad or anything, just trying to prove a point) and yet if I'm having a bad day she will complain that she doesn't feel loved even though thats all I do. Oh did I mention she's also cheated on me in the past?

    Then theres my dad, who loves hurling verbal abuse my way no matter what. He loves our pet dog more than me, and I am being honest about that. He hugs the dog, and talks with it, he plays with it, and yet all he does to me is shout abuse and ignore me.

    Then there is every person at my school. They all avoid me, and I know this because no matter what, I will always have a seat clearance on either side of me, even if I move to a different spot. People will actually get the row to move along so they can get away from me.

    Hell even on the internet people avoid me. I was playing a game, and long story short its good practice to congratulate someone when they level. So one person levels, the entire group (6 of us) congratulates the person. Same again with another person. Yet when I level, not a whisper. I even said "Yay, leveled" and no-one even responded. I checked if it was in a place they would have read it, and it was, but that didn't matter. A couple of minutes after that someone else levelled and guess what, congratulations all round.

    It's just that people I've known for so long and thought I was friends with later say how I'm boring, weird, stupid, fat, ugly etc. and it's just horrible.

    Sorry if it seems like I'm whining, I wanted to get out a rant but I wanted people to be able to respond, to see if theres any advice I could get from anyone on not being such a useless bag of flesh.

    I don't see why I don't kill myself. I would honestly be pushed to find someone who would come to my funeral, if anyone could even be bothered to set one up. No-one gives a crap and no-one ever will. What a thing to learn at 16.
     
  2. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear these things are getting you down

    A lot of people are going to be thinking the same thing when they finish reading your post... and that's that you're only 16, don't worry. Life can be rough as a teenager, as other teenagers tend to be particularly nasty.
    It really sucks about your dad, guess that's just bad luck. Can't choose the family you're born into :(

    Don't forget that this is all temporary. As you grow older the people your age will become increasingly better. Don't let a few bad people get you down. Believe it or not, there are people out there who care. You WILL find them, somewhere down the road.

    These are not uncommon teenage problems... push on through and it'll be over before you know it.
     
  3. Uulanda

    Uulanda Active Member

    I kjnow yous ay that things will get better, but as I told someone else, I can't believe that. I've been told throughout my entire life that things will get better, I'll make more friends one day, people will listen or whatever, and so far it's always been a lie. I can't believe people anymore, all that anyone seems to do to me is to lie. Not to sound mean but I've been lied to too much, I can't just start believing people all of a sudden.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know people very hard to trust to let them in It is very hard because so many of them hurt you and each other No one seems to want to listen to care to understand People hurt they do. I found also some people actually care really care and they are few but there is kindness to be seen There are alot of caring people here ones that do listen and see ones that don't judge and don't threaten you. I hope you can reach out more here to see there is true kindness as well take care okay.
     
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