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No one cares

Lara_C

Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
Hugs Elizabeth. When there's no-one around you trust enough to open your heart to/unburden yourself, it can definitely seem that no-one cares. It could be though, that they don't realise how bad you feel, or don't know how to make you feel better. Depression can make others feel powerless or afraid too, and so they avoid the depressed person because they can't cope with these feelings either. I hope being on SF helps you feel cared for by people who understand how bad this illness can make you feel. You are not alone, SF is with you. Keep reaching out*hug
 
#6
I am feeling like Elizabeth. I think people care, but then I find out they don't. This has happened in my work and personal life so many times. The reasons people have for ditching me are so minor, misunderstanding, twisting of words and situations or dishonest completely.
 
#7
On every movie and TV show, even when people (are are rude, mean, dishonest or unloving toward their loved ones, the are still loved and even forgiven. In the real world, even when you are not those things, any small disagreement is pretense enough to get ghosted forever. Why are people so ready to hate or dump you forever?
 
#8
any small disagreement is pretense enough to get ghosted forever
I think may be people these days have a hard time communicating or working out problems, so they do stuff like "ghosting" people instead.

I bet if you stick around SF for a while, you could make some friends on SF
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#9
No one cares even if they say they do..
as a generalized statement, person to person no cares till they need to or generally want and honestly Elizabeth, i feel like many of us tend to focus on all the people who do not care about us, which ends up overlooking the ones that actually do care. (i would say excuse the grammar, punctuation,and run on sentences but i don't really care about them.)
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#10
On every movie and TV show, even when people (are are rude, mean, dishonest or unloving toward their loved ones, the are still loved and even forgiven. In the real world, even when you are not those things, any small disagreement is pretense enough to get ghosted forever. Why are people so ready to hate or dump you forever?
i feel like the people who are willing to stay with you the very end are prepared to accept most things you do, even when you have a misunderstanding it can be resolved with them. It wouldn't be the same who aren't truly there for you is what i feel like and as you have said those are the people "who are ready to hate or dump you forever".
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#11
No one cares even if they say they do..
hmm also my earlier statement was in a sense of generalization looking at from a distance but if a person decides to care i feel like they do to a certain extent, and like look, i have read your first post after you have posted it. I have been keeping track with all of the ones you have posted so far hoping you would still be with us (i know not creepy sounding at all). i am truly worried about you and I want to help you live through this living hell. you can see this as someone not caring for or caring for you it doesn't really matter even if you think that i may just be saying pretty words, but as long as my words help you feel a bit more ease that is enough for me
 
#12
I have children in their 20s who are not happy with me and seem to feel that after the divorce, I did not demonstrate that I cared about them. Because I have had problems in my life, I started talking to them about them, but their interpretation is that I was too consumed with my own problems to care about them. I do not feel this is true or that I did or said anything to give them that idea. A child who is talking to me voiced the idea that if they feel it, it must be valid. As an adult who who is well educated, I know that just because someone has a feeling about someone else does mean the feeling is good, healthy, ethical, justified or moral. For thousands of years, people have done awful things because they had a gut instinct or had an unhealthy and destructive feeling such as envy, jealousy, rage, vengeance, distrust or simply misread or misunderstood the facts. Giving in to every feeling that pops up relegates us to no more than animals. As people who are wise and have a moral compass, including a relationship with God, I choose to interpret information in certain ways and decide which feelings are valid, just, ethical, etc. Despite me exhibiting love and concern their entire lives, some of them have a false narrative that is supported by looking at the evidence through the distorting impact of logical fallacy. I am not guilty of what has been alleged and have no intention of agreeing with it because they feel it. Another claim is that my decision to share my struggles with them (struggles relating to my career), I am burdening them and jeopardizing their mental health. I started doing this when my youngest child turned 18, rather than covering it up. But having empathy and sympathy for the trials of loved ones is something that all of us should be doing. As a Christian, I certainly know that God and Jesus would agree, according to hundreds of places in the bible. There is a right and wrong in this world and it is not everything goes fit feels right.
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#13
I have children in their 20s who are not happy with me and seem to feel that after the divorce, I did not demonstrate that I cared about them. Because I have had problems in my life, I started talking to them about them, but their interpretation is that I was too consumed with my own problems to care about them. I do not feel this is true or that I did or said anything to give them that idea. A child who is talking to me voiced the idea that if they feel it, it must be valid. As an adult who who is well educated, I know that just because someone has a feeling about someone else does mean the feeling is good, healthy, ethical, justified or moral. For thousands of years, people have done awful things because they had a gut instinct or had an unhealthy and destructive feeling such as envy, jealousy, rage, vengeance, distrust or simply misread or misunderstood the facts. Giving in to every feeling that pops up relegates us to no more than animals. As people who are wise and have a moral compass, including a relationship with God, I choose to interpret information in certain ways and decide which feelings are valid, just, ethical, etc. Despite me exhibiting love and concern their entire lives, some of them have a false narrative that is supported by looking at the evidence through the distorting impact of logical fallacy. I am not guilty of what has been alleged and have no intention of agreeing with it because they feel it. Another claim is that my decision to share my struggles with them (struggles relating to my career), I am burdening them and jeopardizing their mental health. I started doing this when my youngest child turned 18, rather than covering it up. But having empathy and sympathy for the trials of loved ones is something that all of us should be doing. As a Christian, I certainly know that God and Jesus would agree, according to hundreds of places in the bible. There is a right and wrong in this world and it is not everything goes fit feels right.
as a person who did has a bad opinion on on my dad, it may sound weird and i do not you situation clearly but you are right. a thought cannot be justified as correct, just because it has been thought as correct. although i know my own dad is trying he still gave us a terribly unsteady life, heck the first we were with him was few months after were born then the first time after i grew up i saw him when we were 7 he wasn't in the military or anything. and when we finally lived with him he ruined out mother's mental health as a alcoholic and abuser. so i still have a somewhat fixated opinion on him even though i can tell he is changing, im sorry i forgot where i am going with this
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
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#14
A child who is talking to me voiced the idea that if they feel it, it must be valid. As an adult who who is well educated, I know that just because someone has a feeling about someone else does mean the feeling is good, healthy, ethical, justified or moral.
The English are big on the phrase “feelings aren’t facts”... and its true. I’m sorry your kids don’t understand both sides of this divorce the way you’d expect at their age.
 

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