Hey SF. I know I haven't been a member for too long, but you guys have really helped me out. I just need to talk somebody, because of reasons, I have no-one else to turn to. It's been a fucked up month, so many things have happened, so many realizations and insights. But today, today is a bad day. I try to help others on this forum, and that does relieve some of the pain, but I am feeling so fucking lost, and so fucking lonely. I know I have lost my identity, I have lost my sense of self worth, and I am tired of feeling like this. I'm just tired. To top it off I now have the flu. Fuck everything. It's all becoming too much to cope with again. I know what I need to do, but I don't have the energy to do anything. All I want to do is sleep, but there is none. I have sort of accepted that I will spend the rest of my life alone. What really fucked me up yesterday was when I called my kids (I call everyday) to say goodnight, and I heard my almost ex and HIM laughing and giggling. What the actual fuck? I know I don't own her, or the kids, and they all deserve to be happy, but I don't need to hear that shit. On Monday night when I called the kids, they were all eating out. I simply cannot handle this anymore. I know who she is cheating with me on. It's my friend. He has a girlfriend as well. I fucking hate cheaters. I fucking hate them. I know its not a reflection on my character, but on hers, but it fucking hurts. I'm hurting. At least I get to pick the kids up from school tomorrow, and I will drop them off back at school on Monday, I know I have 2 people that do love me, and I love them, and I know they deserve to be happy. But to rub it in my face is unacceptable. I just need someone to talk to.