So Im all alone, I cant get sex with anyone, and I know you are all going to laugh at me and tell me to go find a cheap hooker, but thats not what I want because Im not really sure what I want, because well, just read my cliffnotes version of my life. - I was raped at 7-8 by my then best friend at the time... I went to therapy a bunch of times because of it but all the therapists said was that was a normalt thing that boys do to each other. Something tells me they have never had someone's cock forced into their mouth and ass. :unsure: - I have Complex PTSD from it, even though it was 12 years ago now I still have flashbacks and I still am scared when I start a new year of school now that I will see him. I still cry myself to sleep because of it. - I have OCD. - I am depressed. - I am trannsexual, and will soon be going through the process to do a male-to-female sex change surgery. I wanted to change my username to Amanda, as that is what will be my new name when i transition, but it was already in use, so if anyone has any ideas for a username let me know, id like to hear them. - I got my first real job, they loved me, and on the last shift i worked, they gave me a raise, a benefits package, and wrote me up twice, for working so hard and going above and beyond. Later that shift they found out I was transgender, and I was fired the next day. - I am an anorexic. - I lost my virginity to a prostitute, because I was going to commit suicide after I fucked her and I didnt want to die a virgin. The second time again I fucked a prostitute because I was going to kill myself. - The third time I had sex was with a guy I met online (im bi) and when he got on top of me I had a flashback of my rape and freaked the fuck out on him. - I have a neurologic disorder. - I have a brain disease. - I want someone to have sex with me to show me that I am wanted and loved, but I need to love myself before anyone will do that, but I cant love myself before someone does that so I am screwed. - I want to say I want to die, but... I WANT HELP!