i havent been on here in a long time. been doing okay in terms of managing my feelings. but tonight. its not good. i wanted to do it tonight. i wasnt expecting my boyfriend to suggest him spending the night here. (and he didnt know anything). and now he's asleep. and there was an accident earlier in terms of.... lets just say i have to prey im right in terms of my cycle so i dont end up pregnant. (and i cant afford to get anything like the morning after pill. and neither can he). but im struggling along. i know that my plan is there. i just dont know. i want to. but not while he's here. im just worried about myself i guess. sorry. im wasting time and energy of others. i dont know. i honestly dont know.