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no one hears me cry.....

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Well-Known Member
i havent been on here in a long time.
been doing okay in terms of managing my feelings.
but tonight. its not good.
i wanted to do it tonight.
i wasnt expecting my boyfriend to suggest him spending the night here.
(and he didnt know anything).
and now he's asleep.
and there was an accident earlier in terms of.... lets just say i have to prey im right in terms of my cycle so i dont end up pregnant.
(and i cant afford to get anything like the morning after pill. and neither can he).
but im struggling along.
i know that my plan is there.
i just dont know.
i want to.
but not while he's here.
im just worried about myself i guess.

sorry. im wasting time and energy of others.
i dont know.

i honestly dont know.


You're not wasting anybody's time or energy. I hear you. :hug:

I think we're in different time-zones.

Do you think you'd be able to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings here? Or if it's difficult to talk, maybe you could write it down or email it to him?
Are there things you can pinpoint that are making these feelings worse at the moment?


Well-Known Member
Like Letdown said, you're not wasting anyone's time at all.
I think it would be a really good idea to talk to your boyfriend a bit about how you're feeling at the moment. Struggling with these feelings alone is such an isolated and hard thing, and I think they can hurt all the more sometimes for the fact that you are so alone with them. Even if you don't tell him the full extent, can you tell him that you are struggling at the moment and not feeling all that good? Do you know what it is that's making you feel this way? You mentioned before that you were 'doing ok in terms of managing feelings' - maybe try and look at what it was that enabled this and how you managed it, and how you might be able to try and get back to that place again.
Struggling like that is a really hard place to be in, keep venting / talking as much as you need to, and try to be kind to you. x


I'm glad you found your way back to us when you are in need, I agree with the other posters, you're not a waste of anyones energy. If pregnancy would place you in even more danger though, I think you should not rely on your cycle but proven contraception methods, if you cannot afford them it would probably be better to avoid sex for the time being.

I know its hard to open up to the ones we love, often we worry that they will worry or at least ask awkward questions that we hide from ourselves normally let alone hear them from others, the good thing about this place is that you can open up without anyone knowing you, it can give you that little extra confidence to maybe make a change in your life once you've tested the water somewhere safe.

If you want to vent, rant or discuss anything, you are more than welcome to do so here :hug:
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