How long is necessary to pretend to be good for it to come true? Really happen? I take long baths as my mind races against time. There is some urgency in everything we think and feel and precise control myself so that chaos does not take care of me. It's happened so many times ... quick notes spring up on my computer screen and not give myself the trouble to check how consistent they are. Feelings do not need logic. Abruptly the typical sounds of dawn seep into my room, I try to ignore them and it just makes them higher. Usually I do not hear them, but today they bother me. I want to silence what is around me because I can not silence my mind. Everything screams. I scream. No one hears.